Why do women flake on plans?
Have you ever made plans with a women and then
30 minutes before meeting she sends you a text
saying:
"Totally forgot. I have plans to meet my
grandmother and can't make it"
or
"Seems work has called me in last minute. Can we
reschedule?"
I am pretty sure you have experienced this at
least once in your life.
I can tell you for certain that this woman did
not just "remember" she had plans.
She is flaking.
She is a female flake.
When a woman likes a man there is no way she would
cancel plans on him for something else. AND if she
does cancel she will make certain they have
concrete plans in the future.
...
How do I know?
So have each of my Wing Girls and so have each
of my female friends.
So the question is why do women do this?
Unbeknown to them, women do this because they are
selfish. To avoid their own discomfort they will
be polite and accept an invite with absolutely
no plans of ever following through.
I do want to add in, that this is not malicious
behavior from women.
It is in no way planned or meant to be cruel.
Women are not trying to embarrass you or be mean.
It is simply done to avoid an awkward situation
for her.
It is easier to say yes to an invite or give out
a phone number than to say NO.
At least that is what most women feel and what
felt in the past.
They would much rather avoid the phone or flake
on a date rather than being rude and saying NO
to your face.
...
Again, this is selfish behavior that is based
in female insecurity.
Women don't realize how hurtful these actions
are to another person. They don't realize the
frustration, annoyance and hurt men experience
when they have a woman flake on them.
They think they have avoided being mean and
rude when in fact their actions were actually
more cruel.
Now, I am going to try to my best to teach
the women of the world to be honest and say
what they mean but that is going to take some
time.
Here are some tips on how to protect yourself
against the flakes!
These tips will help you ensure you don't
waste time, money and energy on women that are
not into you.
...
Tip #1 - Don't Get Angry
When a woman texts you 15 minutes before your
date that she "forgot" she has another
obligation understand that this means she is
not into you.
Instead of being angry or hurt about her
flaking, feel sorry for her that she was not
mature enough to be honest.
This will create a calmness in you because you
will realize that this is a type of woman that
is not worthy of being with you.
A woman who cannot speak the truth is not
worthy of your attention nor is she mature
enough to handle you.
If you like you can express back your
disappointment in a mature manner that lets
her know you will not accept this behavior. A
gain, do not be a dick but maturely express
that this behavior of flaking is not cool.
For example write something like:
"Totally understand that things can slip the
mind. In the future it would be best to
check your schedule so that you aware of
your commitments. My time is very valuable
to me and I hope you will respect that in
the future. No hard feelings. Have fun at
your event!"
It's firm, shows you have respect for
yourself and is also soft at the end to let
her know you are still safe.
Hopefully she will learn that her behavior
was not cool and either correct it with you
OR correct it in the future.
Either way a good deed has come out of the
situation.
...
Tip #2 - Don't Leave The House Before
Confirming
To save yourself a drive and possible parking
fee text her before you leave your home about
an hour before you are set to meet.
Say "Running about 10 minutes late. Hope
that is still cool?"
This text gives her the time to take her out
if she wants it. Truth is if a woman is
going to flake she is going to flake but at
least with this move you can save yourself
time, money and energy.
...
Tip #3 - Learn To Spot Signs Of Interest
The possible flake date can be avoided by
being armed with knowing what it looks like
when a woman is interested in you.
I must add that these are not fool signs to
look for because circumstance can play a
role in many interactions.
For example, sobering up.
Some women will only be very available to
you for a single night. Meaning potential
for a one night stand but no date a week
later.
Another example is personal reason.
She may be on the rocks with an ex, she may
be super stressed in her own life, she may
be getting over a break up, she may have
just been up for flirting that evening.
So many reasons exist as to why her
feelings faded after an evening.
Another example is meeting someone else.
Attractive, quality women may meet someone
else that they are more interested in.
Therefore they will now put their energy
into this new guy.
The signs to look for that she is
interested your sexually or for dating are:
- Making eye contact
- Ignoring her friends even if it is a
girls night
- Slightly touching you (too much touch is
a sign of extreme comfort and possible
future friendship)
- Engagement in conversation
- Twirling her hair
- Puckering her lips
- Going to the bathroom all touched up and
looking fresh
Once you ask for the number listen for the
pause. The awkward pause where she debates
whether or not to give you a real number or
fake number.
Most women who want you to call, if they give
you their number have been waiting for this q
uestion to come out of your mouth. Meaning
there should be no pause.
A pause usually translates into possible flake.
These tips will assist you with determining
whether or not a woman will flake on you and
will also assist you when you are dealing with
a flake.
The important thing to remember is that when a
woman is a flake it is a reflection on her.
It shows that she is not confident enough in
herself to give a real honest answer and is
scared to look poorly in someones eyes.
I have learned my lesson about flaking and try
to teach every woman I come in contact with the
importance of being upfront and honest.
Again, I will do my part to stop this from
happening and you can do your part to stop it
from happening to you!
Talk Soon,
KENYAN LAD
Monday, February 20, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
How To Seduce A Woman Into Bed
Hey,
Step #1: Appeal to her emotions. Put your mind into getting her to
feel the exact emotions that she has got to feel in order to want
to sleep with you.
Step #2: Lead her imagination. Know that you can "plant" ideas in
her mind simply by choosing what you want to SAY to her, and what
she wants to talk to you about.
You'll see that it really all boils down to how you use your
language to appeal to a woman's emotions and get her to imagine
having sex with you. Once you have gotten this thought embedded
into a woman's mind, it's then just a matter of time before she
acts it all out for real.
Do you see how powerful this is?
Use your words wisely, learn to solicit certain answers from her by
asking her the right questions, and you will get the power to get
any woman to feel sexual about you. And guess what... this method
works well with the woman you just met at the bar... or the hot
"friend" you have always wanted to bang.
Step #1: Appeal to her emotions. Put your mind into getting her to
feel the exact emotions that she has got to feel in order to want
to sleep with you.
Step #2: Lead her imagination. Know that you can "plant" ideas in
her mind simply by choosing what you want to SAY to her, and what
she wants to talk to you about.
You'll see that it really all boils down to how you use your
language to appeal to a woman's emotions and get her to imagine
having sex with you. Once you have gotten this thought embedded
into a woman's mind, it's then just a matter of time before she
acts it all out for real.
Do you see how powerful this is?
Use your words wisely, learn to solicit certain answers from her by
asking her the right questions, and you will get the power to get
any woman to feel sexual about you. And guess what... this method
works well with the woman you just met at the bar... or the hot
"friend" you have always wanted to bang.
Monday, February 6, 2012
FINANCIAL INTELLIGENCE
OVER THE WEEKEND I WAS READING A CERTAIN ARTICLE BY WARREN BUFFET ON WHAT DEFINES AN INVESTOR. IT GOT ME TO THINKING OF ALL THE IDEAS THAT HAVE CROSSED MY MIND AND I HAVE NEVER ACTED ON THEM. WELL THATS THE PROBLEM WITH BEING BRILLIANT BECAUSE LIFE REMINDS YOU OF THE HARSH REALITIES SURROUNDING YOUR IDEAS AND SCARED YOU AWAY FROM PURSUING THEM.
Financial intelligence is not how much money you make but how much money you keep and how long it works for you. alot of people do invest but they are not investors. The act of investing does not make you an investor unless you understand what you invested in, how you will make money, how you will exit the investment and how it plays a part in your overall objective of making money work for you.
to be a true investor you need to recognise the need to work with others and gain from their experience and resources, this helps to ease the hustles involved in creating wealth hence saving time and resources. my boss always works with other business men and in that process i have meet some of this country's business men and had the opportunity to work with them. yes i love my job because am given freedom to manage my time and in the process learn and establish relationship i will depend on when am ready to be a true investor. in life you need to look at what has worked for others, seek opinion and discuss amongst people we trust can help you invest and create wealth.
financial literacy is very important and is gained by financial education and experience, just because you dont have a degree or huge salary doesnt mean you cant be a smart investor. adjust to the environment and learn from it, execute when you have your facts right and forecast the outcome according. i dont mean you go and do c.p.a's for financial education but you can learn from others and your employer. most people focus on working hard to make more money just as we were told in school to study harder to improve our grades but i disagree, you need to work smart and use your strengths and avoid your weakness and learn in the process.
INVESTING IS ALL ABOUT PASSION, INTELLIGENT AND BEING HUMBLE. ASK, THINK, SET TARGETS AND SOLVE PROBLEMS ADEQUATELY. WORK SMART FRIENDS
Financial intelligence is not how much money you make but how much money you keep and how long it works for you. alot of people do invest but they are not investors. The act of investing does not make you an investor unless you understand what you invested in, how you will make money, how you will exit the investment and how it plays a part in your overall objective of making money work for you.
to be a true investor you need to recognise the need to work with others and gain from their experience and resources, this helps to ease the hustles involved in creating wealth hence saving time and resources. my boss always works with other business men and in that process i have meet some of this country's business men and had the opportunity to work with them. yes i love my job because am given freedom to manage my time and in the process learn and establish relationship i will depend on when am ready to be a true investor. in life you need to look at what has worked for others, seek opinion and discuss amongst people we trust can help you invest and create wealth.
financial literacy is very important and is gained by financial education and experience, just because you dont have a degree or huge salary doesnt mean you cant be a smart investor. adjust to the environment and learn from it, execute when you have your facts right and forecast the outcome according. i dont mean you go and do c.p.a's for financial education but you can learn from others and your employer. most people focus on working hard to make more money just as we were told in school to study harder to improve our grades but i disagree, you need to work smart and use your strengths and avoid your weakness and learn in the process.
INVESTING IS ALL ABOUT PASSION, INTELLIGENT AND BEING HUMBLE. ASK, THINK, SET TARGETS AND SOLVE PROBLEMS ADEQUATELY. WORK SMART FRIENDS
IS THEIR A GOD?
DRUGS
THIS IS SOMETHING I DON’T LIKE REMEMBERING BUT I ADMIT I WAS A JUNKIE LONG TIME AGO AND I DID IT UNDER EVERYONES NOSE, DRUGS BECOME YOUR FRIEND WHEN YOU ARE CONFUSED ABOUT LIFE, FAMILY AND FRIENDS. I HAVE NEVER HAD A CONSTANT FRIEND SO I WONT BLAME BEING A DRUG ADDICT ON BAD COMPANY. MY MUM FOUND A ROLL UNDER MY PILLOW ONE NIGHT AND FROM THEN I GOT CLEAN FOR HER SAKE. IT WAS A LONG JOURNEY FOR ME PERSONALLY SINCE I DIDN’T WANT THE WHOLE SCHOOL AND MY FRIENDS TO KNOW. BEEN CLEAN FOR 7YEARS WITHOUT A SINGLE URGE, IS THEIR A GOD? YES THERE IS! OVERCAME ADDICTION WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES APART FROM FINANCIALLY AND MEMORY WISE. IN MOMBASA 8 OUT OF 10 DRUG ADDICTS HAVE HIV AIDS OR OTHER RELATED DISEASES. YES, THEIR IS A GOD.
EDUCATION
I WAS BROUGHT UP IN A MIDDLE CLASS FAMILY SO EDUCATION WAS NEVER A PROBLEM. I WENT TO COLLEGE IN NAKURU FOR 3 YEARS AND IN THE FINAL EXAM KNEC DECIDED I WAS A FAILURE. WELL, I DON’T REGRET FAILING AND TO BE SINCERE AM INTERESTED IN EXPERIENCE THAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER AND NOT THEORY KNEC HAS TO OFFER. I AM NOT SAYING DON’T STUDY BECAUSE THE PAPERS ARE IMPORTANT IN THE KENYA MARKET BUT I BELIEVE ITS SOMEONES LUCK. IS THEIR A GOD, YES THEIR IS A GOD BECAUSE EVEN WITHOUT THE PROPER CERTIFICATES AM EMPLOYED WITH A GOOD SALARY AND GAINING EXPERIENCE FROM A GOOD MENTOR.
LOVE
ONE AND A HALF YEARS AGO I WAS HEARTBROKEN AND BETRAYED BY SOMEONE I TRUSTED AND TREASURED FOR 4 YEARS. MY FRIENDS APPARENTLY KNEW THAT MY EX WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH SOMEONE ELSE BUT NEVER EVEN GAVE ME A LITTLE HINT. WELL I FORGAVE ALL OF THEM AND MOVED ON LATE LAST YEAR AFTER ABUSING ALCOHOL AND PLAYING WITH LADIES FEELINGS FOR ALMOST A YEAR. IF SOMEONE HAS LEFT YOU THEN KNOW THEY WERE NOT THE ONE FOR YOU. I HAVE RECENTLY ENTERED INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP WISER AND MATURE AND I KNOW I AM FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN. I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES AND THIS TIME I FOUND AN ANGEL, HELL, SHE HAS BEEN TEACHING ME HOW TO PRAY AND I ATTENDED CHURCH LAST SUNDAY AFTER 3 YEARS. AM HOPING AND PRAYING FOR THE BEST. IS THEIR A GOD, YES THEIR IS FOR I HAVE FOUND AND ANGEL.
READ TOMORROW FOR PART TWO
Thursday, November 24, 2011
RANDOM TOPICS
hello readers, i gotta say this week has had ups and downs, cold nights and unpredictable weather.
EDUCATION VS. KNOWLEDGE. i have been doing alot of thinking this recently, first, is education the best investment? well, i got indulge some of my learned friends and colleagues. the debates were very informative and full of drama even more than parliament arguing over stupid scandals. i came to a conclusion that education isn't the best investment but know is! university or a degree doesn't educate someone on how to survive in such economies and generation. one has to deal with frequent inflation, insecurity, government officials asking for bribes, competition and less demand of products and services. real life teachers you how to cope with such pressures and emerging trends. i believe knowledge is the best investment one can make. knowledge can be learned practically and theoritically and put into deserving use. always choose wise the path you take in life using knowledge as a background although education helps you control your destiny too. education is important too.
SUGAR. i am a kenyan and one thing i hate doing at the moment is shopping. inflation and scarcity of essential commodities had rockets their prices to new heights. sugar is damn expensive and i blame it on the goverment. our government for the last one year has been making and implementing bad policies without doing its research well. they blocked the importation of duty free sugar thus causing chaos in the market. their arguement is that we need to support local sugar manufacturers who cant even supply the demand. do something parliament before you kill some of us.
SEX. their is a new trend thats going around that people prefer having casual sex and avoiding relationships. they say that rships have alot of pressure and hustles and pockets/bank accounts get hurt in the process. i kinda agree with these sentiments but am also a firm believer in true love. their is that one special person for you out their. courting a lady has become expensive and most of us have no jobs/source of income to facilitate courtship. no wonder married men are giving us a hard time with our young ladies who prefer not to work, live lavishly and get their degrees with hustles. they think when the time comes for marriage they will find us here waiting for them but they are mistaken, most of us will also date the younger ladies. what goes around comes around dear ladies. young guys are trying really hard to live up to the expectations but they need encouragement and support which is rare. i guess we have to embrace the new trend of having sex without strings attached then.
SOCIAL NETWORKS. they are apart of our lives and we must embrace them though to much of everything is dangerous. be careful who you meet and who you open up to, afterall big brother is recording.
EDUCATION VS. KNOWLEDGE. i have been doing alot of thinking this recently, first, is education the best investment? well, i got indulge some of my learned friends and colleagues. the debates were very informative and full of drama even more than parliament arguing over stupid scandals. i came to a conclusion that education isn't the best investment but know is! university or a degree doesn't educate someone on how to survive in such economies and generation. one has to deal with frequent inflation, insecurity, government officials asking for bribes, competition and less demand of products and services. real life teachers you how to cope with such pressures and emerging trends. i believe knowledge is the best investment one can make. knowledge can be learned practically and theoritically and put into deserving use. always choose wise the path you take in life using knowledge as a background although education helps you control your destiny too. education is important too.
SUGAR. i am a kenyan and one thing i hate doing at the moment is shopping. inflation and scarcity of essential commodities had rockets their prices to new heights. sugar is damn expensive and i blame it on the goverment. our government for the last one year has been making and implementing bad policies without doing its research well. they blocked the importation of duty free sugar thus causing chaos in the market. their arguement is that we need to support local sugar manufacturers who cant even supply the demand. do something parliament before you kill some of us.
SEX. their is a new trend thats going around that people prefer having casual sex and avoiding relationships. they say that rships have alot of pressure and hustles and pockets/bank accounts get hurt in the process. i kinda agree with these sentiments but am also a firm believer in true love. their is that one special person for you out their. courting a lady has become expensive and most of us have no jobs/source of income to facilitate courtship. no wonder married men are giving us a hard time with our young ladies who prefer not to work, live lavishly and get their degrees with hustles. they think when the time comes for marriage they will find us here waiting for them but they are mistaken, most of us will also date the younger ladies. what goes around comes around dear ladies. young guys are trying really hard to live up to the expectations but they need encouragement and support which is rare. i guess we have to embrace the new trend of having sex without strings attached then.
SOCIAL NETWORKS. they are apart of our lives and we must embrace them though to much of everything is dangerous. be careful who you meet and who you open up to, afterall big brother is recording.
Monday, November 21, 2011
5 Financial Mistakes That Ruin Your Marriage
There is always some truth in a joke and looking back on this saying as an adult, it is obvious that he was steering me toward what he hoped was a happy life rather than a life of what he perceived would be a struggle. He is old fashioned and didn't think that a girl could create her own financial security (that is fodder for another blog) but his intentions were good.
Money and marriage is an age old problem. However, during good or bad economic times some things never change — couples are still fighting about money. In many cases, they are the very same things couples were fighting about 25 years ago. According to research as well as my own experience working with couples and money, here are the top five money conflicts that lead to marital strife and ultimately divorce.
Materialism — valuing "things" or money over the relationship. Research on marriage has shown that couples who are materialistic rate at the bottom of the happiness scale. A recent study by BYU and William Jefferson University found that spouses who were BOTH materialistic were worse off on nearly every relationship measure they looked at. It wasn't the lack of money that was the culprit; the authors found that it was materialism itself that created much of the difficulty even when couples had plenty of money.
I saw this firsthand with a former client of mine named Yolanda who unknowingly fell into the materialism trap and nearly destroyed her marriage because of it. She is a first generation American with immigrant parents from Guatemala. She had a misguided notion in her head that if she had a beautiful home nicely decorated with a formal dining room and a landscaped yard for her family to live in then she would be happy. It was almost as if she had a picture of the American Dream and she had to step into that picture and become that person to be happy.
She insisted her husband buy a home they could barely afford along with Ethan Allen furniture and a landscaped backyard — going into debt to do it. This may not seem like materialism because we are not talking diamonds and furs here. We are talking about a dining room table but none-the-less, her focus was on accumulating things instead of on her marriage and family. Fortunately for her, this story doesn't end tragically. When her mother passed away, something triggered in her that completely changed her outlook on her values. She got a much needed wake-up call about what was really important in life before it was too late.
Having conflicting money values. Now I don't know about you but if I was married to someone who gambled away money I'd have a really hard time with that. I see gambling as foolish (unless you are good enough to get into the World Series of Poker.) Foolishly spending money is the number one financial cause for divorce. According to Jeffrey Dew's paper titled Bank on it: Thrifty Couples are the Happiest, when a spouse feels the other spends their money foolishly, it increases the likelihood of divorce by 45%. What caught my attention in the report was the word "feeling." The researchers tell us that perceptions of how well one's spouse handles money play a role in shaping the quality and stability of family life in the U.S.
It isn't just about gambling either. A former client of mine, I'll call her Sandy, was married to someone who was incredibly frugal. Her husband used to check what she paid for groceries and compare them to the weekly ads to see if she got the best price. He actually would be angry and chastise Sandy because she paid too much for a block of cheese saying, "You could have gotten this cheaper at Safeway." He actually wanted her to go to two different stores to shop (even though she worked full time and they had two little boys.) Their marriage ended in divorce and not because she was a gambler by any means but because he perceived her spending as foolish.
The answer here is for couples to come together and decide on how to spend their money. Coming up with jointly held values obviously involves some give and take. If you like to buy lottery tickets, which your spouse sees as frivolous but you feel, "you can't win if you don't play," then jointly decide on a spending limit that you can agree on.
Adopting traditional roles when they don't fit. The commonly held belief that men should handle the financial planning and investments in the family and the women should take care of the day-to-day finances may not fit every couple. In fact, in my household, my husband manages the cash flow — he can be very detail oriented, which is painfully obvious when he is talking baseball with his buddies. It is amazing to me that he knows the batting average of players who retired 5 years ago! He is much better with our cash flow and I am more suited for our strategic financial planning. This is not simply because I have a financial background, but studies on the human brain have shown women to be hard wired to multi-task and those skills cross over to strategic planning. In our case, we switched roles and it works beautifully.
The key is to find the right person for the right role based on aptitude not gender.
Having opposing money styles. It is not uncommon to see financial opposites attract one another. Couples often have mismatched money styles — one is a spender while the other is a saver. Instead of having them work against each other, causing fights and tension, successful couples don't try to change each other. They adapt their money styles to work for both of them. In a previous blog, I mentioned how a newlywed couple set up a plan that made the most of their opposite tendencies. Paula loves her husband's sense of adventure and fun but on the flip-side he spends every dime he has doing it. He loves her stability and discipline since it balances his free and relaxed nature but he is always asking her for money and wanting to tap into her savings. There is tension and resentment on each side.
We came up with a plan that takes their natural money styles into account so they can work together toward common goals and they both contribute financially. The plan is — the spender spends and the saver saves. He is in charge of the short term emergency savings and unexpected expenses that come up. He doesn't feel concerned when he has to tap into the emergency fund and since he is saving monthly, it gets replenished regularly with automatic transfers from checking to savings. She is in charge of long term goals — retirement, saving for a down payment for a house and saving for annual vacations. She hates to part with their hard earned savings so she is best suited for the big goals that take more discipline in achieving.
The key here is instead of judging each other and essentially working against each other, row in the same direction.
Magical thinking — getting results without a plan. One of the most undervalued yet important reasons to work with a financial planner is to force couples to develop a plan together and, at minimum, review it annually. Some people have some of the individual pieces of their finances in order but having a plan puts the pieces together. Couples who don't have a plan don't have a chance of meeting their goals.
The do-it-yourselfer can do the same thing, of course, but it takes a little more discipline. Either way, developing a financial plan gets couples moving in the same direction toward goals they have developed together. Over the course of my 25 years as a financial planner, I've seen a significant difference with couples meeting their goals — being able to retire, touring Europe, investing in vacation properties, etc because they planned, reviewed their plans annually and worked as a team.
Couples who improve their attitudes about money and their communication can truly have it all. Since finances are the biggest cause of stress (a 2010 APA study found that 76% of Americans see money as a source of stress in their lives) and stress is a major cause of disease, improving financial literacy also has the added benefit of improving your health. Keeping your values in the right place and improving finances can actually bring health, wealth and happiness. What more can we ask for?
Materialism — valuing "things" or money over the relationship. Research on marriage has shown that couples who are materialistic rate at the bottom of the happiness scale. A recent study by BYU and William Jefferson University found that spouses who were BOTH materialistic were worse off on nearly every relationship measure they looked at. It wasn't the lack of money that was the culprit; the authors found that it was materialism itself that created much of the difficulty even when couples had plenty of money.
I saw this firsthand with a former client of mine named Yolanda who unknowingly fell into the materialism trap and nearly destroyed her marriage because of it. She is a first generation American with immigrant parents from Guatemala. She had a misguided notion in her head that if she had a beautiful home nicely decorated with a formal dining room and a landscaped yard for her family to live in then she would be happy. It was almost as if she had a picture of the American Dream and she had to step into that picture and become that person to be happy.
She insisted her husband buy a home they could barely afford along with Ethan Allen furniture and a landscaped backyard — going into debt to do it. This may not seem like materialism because we are not talking diamonds and furs here. We are talking about a dining room table but none-the-less, her focus was on accumulating things instead of on her marriage and family. Fortunately for her, this story doesn't end tragically. When her mother passed away, something triggered in her that completely changed her outlook on her values. She got a much needed wake-up call about what was really important in life before it was too late.
Having conflicting money values. Now I don't know about you but if I was married to someone who gambled away money I'd have a really hard time with that. I see gambling as foolish (unless you are good enough to get into the World Series of Poker.) Foolishly spending money is the number one financial cause for divorce. According to Jeffrey Dew's paper titled Bank on it: Thrifty Couples are the Happiest, when a spouse feels the other spends their money foolishly, it increases the likelihood of divorce by 45%. What caught my attention in the report was the word "feeling." The researchers tell us that perceptions of how well one's spouse handles money play a role in shaping the quality and stability of family life in the U.S.
It isn't just about gambling either. A former client of mine, I'll call her Sandy, was married to someone who was incredibly frugal. Her husband used to check what she paid for groceries and compare them to the weekly ads to see if she got the best price. He actually would be angry and chastise Sandy because she paid too much for a block of cheese saying, "You could have gotten this cheaper at Safeway." He actually wanted her to go to two different stores to shop (even though she worked full time and they had two little boys.) Their marriage ended in divorce and not because she was a gambler by any means but because he perceived her spending as foolish.
The answer here is for couples to come together and decide on how to spend their money. Coming up with jointly held values obviously involves some give and take. If you like to buy lottery tickets, which your spouse sees as frivolous but you feel, "you can't win if you don't play," then jointly decide on a spending limit that you can agree on.
Adopting traditional roles when they don't fit. The commonly held belief that men should handle the financial planning and investments in the family and the women should take care of the day-to-day finances may not fit every couple. In fact, in my household, my husband manages the cash flow — he can be very detail oriented, which is painfully obvious when he is talking baseball with his buddies. It is amazing to me that he knows the batting average of players who retired 5 years ago! He is much better with our cash flow and I am more suited for our strategic financial planning. This is not simply because I have a financial background, but studies on the human brain have shown women to be hard wired to multi-task and those skills cross over to strategic planning. In our case, we switched roles and it works beautifully.
The key is to find the right person for the right role based on aptitude not gender.
Having opposing money styles. It is not uncommon to see financial opposites attract one another. Couples often have mismatched money styles — one is a spender while the other is a saver. Instead of having them work against each other, causing fights and tension, successful couples don't try to change each other. They adapt their money styles to work for both of them. In a previous blog, I mentioned how a newlywed couple set up a plan that made the most of their opposite tendencies. Paula loves her husband's sense of adventure and fun but on the flip-side he spends every dime he has doing it. He loves her stability and discipline since it balances his free and relaxed nature but he is always asking her for money and wanting to tap into her savings. There is tension and resentment on each side.
We came up with a plan that takes their natural money styles into account so they can work together toward common goals and they both contribute financially. The plan is — the spender spends and the saver saves. He is in charge of the short term emergency savings and unexpected expenses that come up. He doesn't feel concerned when he has to tap into the emergency fund and since he is saving monthly, it gets replenished regularly with automatic transfers from checking to savings. She is in charge of long term goals — retirement, saving for a down payment for a house and saving for annual vacations. She hates to part with their hard earned savings so she is best suited for the big goals that take more discipline in achieving.
The key here is instead of judging each other and essentially working against each other, row in the same direction.
Magical thinking — getting results without a plan. One of the most undervalued yet important reasons to work with a financial planner is to force couples to develop a plan together and, at minimum, review it annually. Some people have some of the individual pieces of their finances in order but having a plan puts the pieces together. Couples who don't have a plan don't have a chance of meeting their goals.
The do-it-yourselfer can do the same thing, of course, but it takes a little more discipline. Either way, developing a financial plan gets couples moving in the same direction toward goals they have developed together. Over the course of my 25 years as a financial planner, I've seen a significant difference with couples meeting their goals — being able to retire, touring Europe, investing in vacation properties, etc because they planned, reviewed their plans annually and worked as a team.
Couples who improve their attitudes about money and their communication can truly have it all. Since finances are the biggest cause of stress (a 2010 APA study found that 76% of Americans see money as a source of stress in their lives) and stress is a major cause of disease, improving financial literacy also has the added benefit of improving your health. Keeping your values in the right place and improving finances can actually bring health, wealth and happiness. What more can we ask for?
Sunday, November 13, 2011
6 Ways to FOREVER Banish the "Let's Just be Friends" Speech
So what is the answer to one of the most commonly
asked question in dating ever since the beginning
of time:
How do I turn a friend in to a lover?
Simple.
It's all a matter of know when when and how to
play your cards right with your target of choice.
These are my 6-steps to get you out of the friend
zone and get women sexually interested in you...
.
1. Limit your availability.
I'm willing to bet that whenever this girl does
call you, you eagerly answer the phone and chat
with her for as long as she wants.
You THINK that when you spend two hours on the
phone with her, sharing your life stories and
telling her about the girl who broke your heart
when you were in the tenth grade, you're building
some kind of deep "connection" with her.
But what you're actually doing is removing ANY
sense of mystery about yourself, and letting her
know that you have nothing else going in your l
ife... and no other women.
This is massively UN-attractive to her.
(I know that when you're a man who is struggling
with his dating life, and haven't hooked up with
a chick in a while, this takes a LOT of
discipline.
Your instinct is to make yourself totally
available to her and try to spend as much time
as possible with her. Well, go ahead and keep
doing it this way, if you want to keep wondering
why women keep placing you in the friend zone...)
.
2. Until you've slept with a woman, limit your
phone chats with her to five minutes.
And don't get caught up in constant text-messaging.
Give her the sense that you're a busy man with
places to be.
Use these short phone calls, or text exchanges,
to lock down your plans to see her again.
Save the deep conversations for when you are
actually spending time with her.
.
3. Women are moody and emotional.
Get used to it, and know how to deal with it.
When she start acting weird or distant, she is
testing you.
She wants to see how you will respond.
Do you kiss her ass and ask her "what's wrong?"
Do you get frustrated and angered by her
behavior?
(Either of these responses will only make her
get more moody!)
Or, do you behave like a firm, direct MAN?
(Tell her, "Well, I can tell you've got some
things on your mind right now, so why don't you
take some time to sort it out and get back to
me.
I've got some things I need to handle right
now.")
.
4. Her ex-boyfriend is irrelevant.
Women commonly use the excuse:
"I got out of a bad relationship recently, I
don't know if I'm ready for someone new, I
don't want to get hurt again," etc.
It's all crap, basically.
The truth is, if she met a confident,
attractive man RIGHT NOW who made her feel a
sexual connection, she'd forget about her
ex-boyfriend in about 2.3 seconds.
When she talks about her ex, and how she's
"not ready," what she really means is that
you're not making her feel attraction, and
so she's testing you to see what kind of man
you are.
You need to put her in a positive, fun state
of mind and keep her there. When she thinks
of you, she should think of fun times and
feeling good about herself.
The last thing you want to do is allow her
to dwell on her ex-boyfriend and be her
"shoulder to cry on."
If she ever mentions him, change the
subject.
And never refer to him by name because it
only aggravates her emotional state.
(Instead, refer to him as "that guy." Make
him seem irrelevant and insignificant.)
HER: "I guess I'm just in a bad mood today
because it would have been my third
anniversary with my ex, John..."
YOU: "Well it sounds like that guy didn't
appreciate you the way he should have, and
it's his loss.
I'm just glad we're getting to
know each other, because I can tell there's
a lot more to you than meets the eye.
So tell me more about ________"
(Change the subject onto something that gets
her in a positive, talkative mood).
.
5. Never confess your attraction to her.
Women interpret this as a sign of weakness.
You've been taught by the media that woman
want a soft, sensitive guy who isn't afraid to
confess his feelings.
Actually, the opposite is true.
She needs to know you are a strong, emotionally
secure and confident MAN.
Once you've got a sexual relationship going
with her, and she's bonded to you, feel free to
be a sweet, loving boyfriend and do all of the
romantic things that drive her wild.
But until then, you've got to play it cool.
.
6. Finally, be willing to "man up" and walk away.
If for whatever reason she just can't sort out
her feelings, cut her loose.
Trust me, if you were involved with two or three
OTHER women right now, you wouldn't have the
time or the interest to play games with some
chick who can't make up her mind.
When you have multiple options, you will ALWAYS
feel confident and in control.
Don't make the mistake that most guys make, and
place "all of your eggs in one basket."
This is also one of the biggest mistakes guys make
when they want to turn a friend into something more.
They focus too much on that one girl.
Once a woman has mentally placed you in "The
Friend Zone," it's difficult to change her
feelings towards you.
Ideally, you never want to her to view you as
her platonic, non-sexual "buddy" in the first
place.
This is why when you do meet up with women for a
date, you've got to take things in a sexual
direction.
This doesn't mean you have to sleep with women
on the first date.
But you MUST establish some physical contact and
make her feel that you're a sexual possibility
for her.
That's the difference between guys who always
suffer in the "Friend Zone," and guys who GET IT
DONE.
If you're constantly pulling your hair out trying
to figure out how to get that ONE SPECIAL GIRL
you've always fantasized about (but she ONLY
treats you as a friend/brother and NOTHING else),
go to this site to learn how to CHANGE HER MIND
and turn the tables IMMEDIATELY:
asked question in dating ever since the beginning
of time:
How do I turn a friend in to a lover?
Simple.
It's all a matter of know when when and how to
play your cards right with your target of choice.
These are my 6-steps to get you out of the friend
zone and get women sexually interested in you...
.
1. Limit your availability.
I'm willing to bet that whenever this girl does
call you, you eagerly answer the phone and chat
with her for as long as she wants.
You THINK that when you spend two hours on the
phone with her, sharing your life stories and
telling her about the girl who broke your heart
when you were in the tenth grade, you're building
some kind of deep "connection" with her.
But what you're actually doing is removing ANY
sense of mystery about yourself, and letting her
know that you have nothing else going in your l
ife... and no other women.
This is massively UN-attractive to her.
(I know that when you're a man who is struggling
with his dating life, and haven't hooked up with
a chick in a while, this takes a LOT of
discipline.
Your instinct is to make yourself totally
available to her and try to spend as much time
as possible with her. Well, go ahead and keep
doing it this way, if you want to keep wondering
why women keep placing you in the friend zone...)
.
2. Until you've slept with a woman, limit your
phone chats with her to five minutes.
And don't get caught up in constant text-messaging.
Give her the sense that you're a busy man with
places to be.
Use these short phone calls, or text exchanges,
to lock down your plans to see her again.
Save the deep conversations for when you are
actually spending time with her.
.
3. Women are moody and emotional.
Get used to it, and know how to deal with it.
When she start acting weird or distant, she is
testing you.
She wants to see how you will respond.
Do you kiss her ass and ask her "what's wrong?"
Do you get frustrated and angered by her
behavior?
(Either of these responses will only make her
get more moody!)
Or, do you behave like a firm, direct MAN?
(Tell her, "Well, I can tell you've got some
things on your mind right now, so why don't you
take some time to sort it out and get back to
me.
I've got some things I need to handle right
now.")
.
4. Her ex-boyfriend is irrelevant.
Women commonly use the excuse:
"I got out of a bad relationship recently, I
don't know if I'm ready for someone new, I
don't want to get hurt again," etc.
It's all crap, basically.
The truth is, if she met a confident,
attractive man RIGHT NOW who made her feel a
sexual connection, she'd forget about her
ex-boyfriend in about 2.3 seconds.
When she talks about her ex, and how she's
"not ready," what she really means is that
you're not making her feel attraction, and
so she's testing you to see what kind of man
you are.
You need to put her in a positive, fun state
of mind and keep her there. When she thinks
of you, she should think of fun times and
feeling good about herself.
The last thing you want to do is allow her
to dwell on her ex-boyfriend and be her
"shoulder to cry on."
If she ever mentions him, change the
subject.
And never refer to him by name because it
only aggravates her emotional state.
(Instead, refer to him as "that guy." Make
him seem irrelevant and insignificant.)
HER: "I guess I'm just in a bad mood today
because it would have been my third
anniversary with my ex, John..."
YOU: "Well it sounds like that guy didn't
appreciate you the way he should have, and
it's his loss.
I'm just glad we're getting to
know each other, because I can tell there's
a lot more to you than meets the eye.
So tell me more about ________"
(Change the subject onto something that gets
her in a positive, talkative mood).
.
5. Never confess your attraction to her.
Women interpret this as a sign of weakness.
You've been taught by the media that woman
want a soft, sensitive guy who isn't afraid to
confess his feelings.
Actually, the opposite is true.
She needs to know you are a strong, emotionally
secure and confident MAN.
Once you've got a sexual relationship going
with her, and she's bonded to you, feel free to
be a sweet, loving boyfriend and do all of the
romantic things that drive her wild.
But until then, you've got to play it cool.
.
6. Finally, be willing to "man up" and walk away.
If for whatever reason she just can't sort out
her feelings, cut her loose.
Trust me, if you were involved with two or three
OTHER women right now, you wouldn't have the
time or the interest to play games with some
chick who can't make up her mind.
When you have multiple options, you will ALWAYS
feel confident and in control.
Don't make the mistake that most guys make, and
place "all of your eggs in one basket."
This is also one of the biggest mistakes guys make
when they want to turn a friend into something more.
They focus too much on that one girl.
Once a woman has mentally placed you in "The
Friend Zone," it's difficult to change her
feelings towards you.
Ideally, you never want to her to view you as
her platonic, non-sexual "buddy" in the first
place.
This is why when you do meet up with women for a
date, you've got to take things in a sexual
direction.
This doesn't mean you have to sleep with women
on the first date.
But you MUST establish some physical contact and
make her feel that you're a sexual possibility
for her.
That's the difference between guys who always
suffer in the "Friend Zone," and guys who GET IT
DONE.
If you're constantly pulling your hair out trying
to figure out how to get that ONE SPECIAL GIRL
you've always fantasized about (but she ONLY
treats you as a friend/brother and NOTHING else),
go to this site to learn how to CHANGE HER MIND
and turn the tables IMMEDIATELY:
Saturday, November 12, 2011
BITTER SWEET THOUGHTS
whoever said, "the world evolves around money" knwe what they were saying. YES, I AM BROKE sitted after working hours on a saturday blogging. am just browsing and tweeting and all i can see is people telling the world how much fun they are having and am wondering if am still in planet earth. Well, when will i ever have money is a question i might never answer. onr thing is i know is that i will move mountains with money if i ever get it.
the sky is always the limit but money facilitates that, with money comes confidence, respect, honour, power, control and one gets to know their true potential. i dont believe in the saying that "more money more problems" because with money i can solve very many problems. Am yet to hear of a billionaire who hates and regrets being rich.
now to more simpler issues, 1. how the hell do i get a girlfriend in the city of the sun? money is a requirement although most ladies will argue that am mistaken. i have been around the block to know what am writing. ladies have become so materialistic nowadays, i had a chat with a friend and she argued that a lady must look good and its a man's responsibility to make sure of that. how the hell can a man do so if he doesnt have a source of income or extra money to do so. i think ladies are ot being realistic and just wonna live the easy life. well, their are plenty of men out their with money but i doubt they are looking to love and appreciate you all the time with giving them something in return. no wonder married men are giving young guys competition when it comes to this young beautiful ladies. the old days are gone when a lady would go crazy for a guy who loves her unconditionally no matter his achievements or short comings. no wonder no man feels like treat a lady like royalty all the time. i also feel pity for my age mates because in the next 5-7 years they will be lonly with men to love and adore them. personally i know what in a woman and cant seem to find it and am guessing i wont in the future.
most young men prefer older women not for money but for free drama life they have, older women have class and know what it takes to keep a man around. commitment and sacrifice is what these young ladies lack. i know most guys have girlfriends but how long does the relationship last nowadays, everyone wants what they dont have and its killing love and bliss.
i always say that the woman i get to marry will be lucky because i will love her with all my heart. love is kind, passion, romance, support, struggling together, discovering the world together, sleeping and waking up together etc. i look up to my aunts and their hubbies because of how they hold their families together.
UNTIL THAT DAY COMES WHEN I GET HER, i will be patient and blog alot about love....bla bla bla bla bla.......
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND PALS
the sky is always the limit but money facilitates that, with money comes confidence, respect, honour, power, control and one gets to know their true potential. i dont believe in the saying that "more money more problems" because with money i can solve very many problems. Am yet to hear of a billionaire who hates and regrets being rich.
now to more simpler issues, 1. how the hell do i get a girlfriend in the city of the sun? money is a requirement although most ladies will argue that am mistaken. i have been around the block to know what am writing. ladies have become so materialistic nowadays, i had a chat with a friend and she argued that a lady must look good and its a man's responsibility to make sure of that. how the hell can a man do so if he doesnt have a source of income or extra money to do so. i think ladies are ot being realistic and just wonna live the easy life. well, their are plenty of men out their with money but i doubt they are looking to love and appreciate you all the time with giving them something in return. no wonder married men are giving young guys competition when it comes to this young beautiful ladies. the old days are gone when a lady would go crazy for a guy who loves her unconditionally no matter his achievements or short comings. no wonder no man feels like treat a lady like royalty all the time. i also feel pity for my age mates because in the next 5-7 years they will be lonly with men to love and adore them. personally i know what in a woman and cant seem to find it and am guessing i wont in the future.
most young men prefer older women not for money but for free drama life they have, older women have class and know what it takes to keep a man around. commitment and sacrifice is what these young ladies lack. i know most guys have girlfriends but how long does the relationship last nowadays, everyone wants what they dont have and its killing love and bliss.
i always say that the woman i get to marry will be lucky because i will love her with all my heart. love is kind, passion, romance, support, struggling together, discovering the world together, sleeping and waking up together etc. i look up to my aunts and their hubbies because of how they hold their families together.
UNTIL THAT DAY COMES WHEN I GET HER, i will be patient and blog alot about love....bla bla bla bla bla.......
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND PALS
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
A LADY
am 23 years old but with being so young, one thing i understand and know is women.i can blog a million words about a woman with putting fullstops and comas. Here is what i think a woman is;
1. a lady needs security- i dont mean the physical one but the security of knowing everything will be atleast ok. she needs someone to hold her hand in thick and thin. well if you are a man who doesn't fit here then prep yourself for a heartbreak.
2. a lady needs maturity- a woman loves attention and if her man is the same then alot of drama will be the order of the day. a lady needs a mature man who she can rely on for advice, help and fulfillment of emotional and physical needs.
3. a lady needs to feel like a queen all the time- i really don't need to explain this one but just know that the small things in life matter the most to her. helping out with the dishes, baby, relatives and helping her understand herself every minute of the day. eg. if you take her for dinner, then you get to watch her choose something exotic from the menu and watch her sample it. if she likes it then its a win for you.
4. a lady needs to be adored and appreciated- a woman can be compared to a lambo, you need to adore and appreciate her every day and thats where number 2 and 3 also come in.
5. a lady needs love- as a man you needs to make sure your woman gets love from the society, both sides of the family and your own family. love makes her happy and when she is happy everyone is happy.
6.a lady needs space and freedom- men have one for the road with the guys and so does a lady with her girlfriend. lets her enjoy her time alone sometimes. she gets to catch up with others and to also miss you.
7.a lady needs child- people may think this isn't important but it is. she needs to feel whole and not cursed. just like men need baby boys.
8.a lady needs GOD-with God, a lady gets to mould her and the family's identity.
9.a lady needs understanding- you have to be patient, caring and listen to her. they talk and quarell alot. hehehehe
10.a lady needs submission too- dear men, take time off from being the boss sometimes and let her be in charge. she gets to enjoy torturing and toying with you.
KENYAN LAD
1. a lady needs security- i dont mean the physical one but the security of knowing everything will be atleast ok. she needs someone to hold her hand in thick and thin. well if you are a man who doesn't fit here then prep yourself for a heartbreak.
2. a lady needs maturity- a woman loves attention and if her man is the same then alot of drama will be the order of the day. a lady needs a mature man who she can rely on for advice, help and fulfillment of emotional and physical needs.
3. a lady needs to feel like a queen all the time- i really don't need to explain this one but just know that the small things in life matter the most to her. helping out with the dishes, baby, relatives and helping her understand herself every minute of the day. eg. if you take her for dinner, then you get to watch her choose something exotic from the menu and watch her sample it. if she likes it then its a win for you.
4. a lady needs to be adored and appreciated- a woman can be compared to a lambo, you need to adore and appreciate her every day and thats where number 2 and 3 also come in.
5. a lady needs love- as a man you needs to make sure your woman gets love from the society, both sides of the family and your own family. love makes her happy and when she is happy everyone is happy.
6.a lady needs space and freedom- men have one for the road with the guys and so does a lady with her girlfriend. lets her enjoy her time alone sometimes. she gets to catch up with others and to also miss you.
7.a lady needs child- people may think this isn't important but it is. she needs to feel whole and not cursed. just like men need baby boys.
8.a lady needs GOD-with God, a lady gets to mould her and the family's identity.
9.a lady needs understanding- you have to be patient, caring and listen to her. they talk and quarell alot. hehehehe
10.a lady needs submission too- dear men, take time off from being the boss sometimes and let her be in charge. she gets to enjoy torturing and toying with you.
KENYAN LAD
Monday, August 22, 2011
7 Steps for Dominating ANY Social Scene
| An incredible social life is the cornerstone of a successful dating life. It's a simple equation: More people = more opportunities = More girls But what can you do if you're a guy who doesn't have a great social life? Well there's a couple of solutions. In the fact, I've perfected a simple 7-step system for dominating ANY social encounter: . Step #1 - Call your friends The first step is to provide a simple baseline for the rest of this plan. Right now, you probably have a core group of friends who are part of your social circle. If you want to meet more people then you're going to start with this group. So the initial thing to do is call up your friends and make plans to do something different. The key is to organize an event which brings you out of your comfort zone and make you fun stuff. In other words, you want to start going to places which provide a social environment. . Step # 2- Look for hidden opportunities As you become more social you're going the likelihood of getting invited to different events. Due to inertia, most guys avoid "uncomfortable environments." Instead of doing this, you should start going to these events EVEN if you don't think they'll be fun. The truth is you never know what'll happen when you try different things. Perhaps the most boring event could provide a chance to meet an interesting girl. So never pass up an invitation to an event. The rule of thumb is if you don't have plans, you'll ALWAYS accept an invitation to do something. . Step # 3- Make friends While it's great to have old friends, your social life can get a real shot in the arm if you start making new friends at the events you're frequenting. One piece of advice I recommend is to talk to EVERYONE at these events. Even if it's a bunch of guys, you can still get a lot of social mileage by talking to people who have connections. Even the most mundane person probably knows a few attractive women. By making connections with everyone, you're giving yourself opportunities to find new friends and meet more girls. Here's a video that explains how to make an INSTANT connection with any girl you've met: ==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/ . Step #4- Keep contact with your new friends I like to think of friends as currency. The more you have, the more you opportunities you'll accumulate. As you meet new people, you'll start to build momentum on the number of buddies you'll acquire. In order to maximize your opportunities, you should maintain constant contact with the friends that you're making. Even if you're just sending a quick email, a consistent correspondence with your friends will improve your social life. By communicating with your friends you'll stick out in their minds when a cool event is about to happen. . Step #5- Keep up to date Almost every area has lots of fun stuff happening. The problem is most guys won't bother to look for them. Instead they're satisfied with doing the same thing over and over. Don't be like these guys. Instead become the man who is up to date on all events happening in your area. All you have to do is open you're local paper and you'll have access to dozens, even hundreds of fun things going on. Right now, commit yourself to spending a few minutes each week looking for interesting events going on in your area. . Step #6- Plan events It's human nature to want to be around fun people. So if you become the guy who plans out the fun times then you'll become the focal point of your social circle. What you want to do is plan out a few different interesting activities EACH month and invite everyone that you know. Eventually the people in your social life will look to you to plan out the good times. Over time, you can use these events to meet interesting women. Again, this is critical part of being a social master that's naturally attractive to women: ==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/ . Step #7- Be fun Finally, you have to go beyond being the guy who plans out fun events. At all times, you must display a fun and interesting personality. When you attend social activities, you should be regarded as the guy who can make others have a good time. The truth is most people live boring lives. If you're the source of interesting experiences then people will want to hang out with you. The end result is you'll become the first person they call when they want to have a fun night. Improving your social life is one of the crucial elements for meeting and dating a lot of women. If you follow the seven rules I just discussed, then you'll discover that it's pretty easy to transform into a fun guy who has an incredible social life. |
3 Questions That Make Her Want To Sleep With You
In addition to trust building, also ensure that you're at a place
CLOSE to her (for example, you and her alone at your place with no
interruption, etc).
3 Questions To Sex" Methodology
Question 1: "What excites you when it comes to sex?"
For example, if she says, "It makes me feel LOVED", then follow up
with this question:-
Question 2: "So what does feeling LOVED (or any other value she
answered with) give you?"
This is the indication that makes her know that she has achieved
what she wants from sex. Let's say she answers with, "I feel CLOSE
to the person that I am with."
Question 3: "What it is like when you're intimately CLOSE with this
person (point at yourself), where you can feel your skin brushing
against his skin (use sensual languaging!)...?"
Her: "It's warm, cozy... and it makes me feel alive."
Now, repeat it all back to her: "Let's say you're with this man who
you feel intimately CLOSE with... and you feel his skin brushing
against yours... it's something that makes you feel loved and
warm... and you feel ALIVE..."
Women get turned on by having them DESCRIBE the feelings of sex
(and female orgasms). Ultimately, you want her to FEEL the
sensation of sex IN HER BODY. Getting her to TALK about her
FEELINGS during sex is the ultimate SHORTCUT to make her feel
aroused.
Look...
Despite what taught elsewhere, seduction does NOT have to be slow,
complicated and tedious. For the ultimate SHORTCUT to seduction
success, check this out -
KENYAN LAD
CLOSE to her (for example, you and her alone at your place with no
interruption, etc).
3 Questions To Sex" Methodology
Question 1: "What excites you when it comes to sex?"
For example, if she says, "It makes me feel LOVED", then follow up
with this question:-
Question 2: "So what does feeling LOVED (or any other value she
answered with) give you?"
This is the indication that makes her know that she has achieved
what she wants from sex. Let's say she answers with, "I feel CLOSE
to the person that I am with."
Question 3: "What it is like when you're intimately CLOSE with this
person (point at yourself), where you can feel your skin brushing
against his skin (use sensual languaging!)...?"
Her: "It's warm, cozy... and it makes me feel alive."
Now, repeat it all back to her: "Let's say you're with this man who
you feel intimately CLOSE with... and you feel his skin brushing
against yours... it's something that makes you feel loved and
warm... and you feel ALIVE..."
Women get turned on by having them DESCRIBE the feelings of sex
(and female orgasms). Ultimately, you want her to FEEL the
sensation of sex IN HER BODY. Getting her to TALK about her
FEELINGS during sex is the ultimate SHORTCUT to make her feel
aroused.
Look...
Despite what taught elsewhere, seduction does NOT have to be slow,
complicated and tedious. For the ultimate SHORTCUT to seduction
success, check this out -
KENYAN LAD
Thursday, August 18, 2011
LIFE IS SHORT
My colleague passed away three weeks ago after being hit by a bus 500 meters from his home, by good luck we were always in good terms and open in all matters wether personal or official. he taught me that patience is the most vital value one can possess and always the key to happiness.he always boosted of how he had found the perfect woman and was ready to settle and was planning to wed on november and start a family. R.I.P KEVIN, you will always live on in our hurts.
LOVE can be defined in many ways but it depends on an individual. i was in a four relationship and mennn it was crazy. the normal up and downs were usually there but mostly we were good together and much in love. the real problems started when my partner go a job while i was studying, she never had time and when free she went out with her girlfriends. 3 months down the line i discovered she was cheating on me with her boss (bulgarian). most of her friends knew and never told me or even drop a hint. i had my doubts but i always told myself she would not do that to me because tulikuwa tumetoka mbali.
i came to find out about the affair after she had dumped me via sms, i felt i was at the end of the road and almost killed myself. after being accused of making her miserable by everyone i let it go and hoped one day i would move on. i became a loner because i could share a table with my friends because they knew and never said anything, it took time to heal form the heartbreak and betrayal but i finally let it go.
from their i went into "playa mode" where i slept with any skirt that brushed my trousers, after a while i got tired of that life and decided to cool down and really search for that true love. i now know what i want from someone else and how to know am appreciated and cherished. i have always boosted of being one of the good men left and i intend to keep it that way. i love appreciating people and my queen to be will be loved forever.
the problem is finding the right person and its kinda hard with our city filled with gold diggers and ladies just after a good organism. relationship values are not being taken seriously by both sides of gender and one can never be correct about another one. i recently met a young lady and she swept my feet all over sudden. very sincere, full of life, independent, mature even for her age and most importantly she understands herself. i want to know her better but i have my reservations as she does too. she thinks she isn't ready for a relationship whileas i think she is but cant force her or rush things.
it has just donned on me this morning that true love exists and one can easily find it. one has also to overcome the pain and fear to be happy. whoever reads this article should sit back and analyse if they are really happy in their relationship/marriage and if their spouse is worth their time, attention, love and life. life is too short and one needs to enjoy its gifts and blessings.
MARTIN
LOVE can be defined in many ways but it depends on an individual. i was in a four relationship and mennn it was crazy. the normal up and downs were usually there but mostly we were good together and much in love. the real problems started when my partner go a job while i was studying, she never had time and when free she went out with her girlfriends. 3 months down the line i discovered she was cheating on me with her boss (bulgarian). most of her friends knew and never told me or even drop a hint. i had my doubts but i always told myself she would not do that to me because tulikuwa tumetoka mbali.
i came to find out about the affair after she had dumped me via sms, i felt i was at the end of the road and almost killed myself. after being accused of making her miserable by everyone i let it go and hoped one day i would move on. i became a loner because i could share a table with my friends because they knew and never said anything, it took time to heal form the heartbreak and betrayal but i finally let it go.
from their i went into "playa mode" where i slept with any skirt that brushed my trousers, after a while i got tired of that life and decided to cool down and really search for that true love. i now know what i want from someone else and how to know am appreciated and cherished. i have always boosted of being one of the good men left and i intend to keep it that way. i love appreciating people and my queen to be will be loved forever.
the problem is finding the right person and its kinda hard with our city filled with gold diggers and ladies just after a good organism. relationship values are not being taken seriously by both sides of gender and one can never be correct about another one. i recently met a young lady and she swept my feet all over sudden. very sincere, full of life, independent, mature even for her age and most importantly she understands herself. i want to know her better but i have my reservations as she does too. she thinks she isn't ready for a relationship whileas i think she is but cant force her or rush things.
it has just donned on me this morning that true love exists and one can easily find it. one has also to overcome the pain and fear to be happy. whoever reads this article should sit back and analyse if they are really happy in their relationship/marriage and if their spouse is worth their time, attention, love and life. life is too short and one needs to enjoy its gifts and blessings.
MARTIN
Sunday, August 14, 2011
The Six Sixes-HOW WOMEN JUDGE AND CHOOSE MEN THESE DAYS
Getty Images
- What You Need To Know
- Women who are looking for perfect-10 men are judging us based on the Six Sixes.
- Not every guy's car has to have 600 horsepower, but econo-boxes won't do.
- The most important criterion is the one you fear the most.
"Women have come up with a system of their own to weed out the average Joes from the Brad Pitts."You know how men use a scale from 1-10 to determine a woman’s attractiveness? A 10 is a smoking-hot babe a la Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and a 1 is something that crawled out of a murky Louisiana swamp. Well, women have their scale too, and it’s called the Six Sixes. But unlike men's method, which judges women based solely on their appearance, the Six Sixes evaluates men on their bodies, their income and their ability to…perform.
In other words, women have come up with a system of our own, created to weed out the average Joes from the Brad Pitts. Shallow? Perhaps, but don’t think she’s not judging you. Unless she’s a gold digger and solely out for the cash, most gorgeous, independent women are going for the gold: the crème de la crème of men. Put plainly, we're looking to score as many sixes as we can. The more sixes a girl can score, the better. A ten-incher or a seven-figure salary can make up for a lack in the other departments, but if you’re majorly missing one of the below, you might want to start working on filling in the gaps. Read on for a breakdown of the Six Sixes.
A six-figure salary
These days a six-figure salary isn’t much, but it’s sure as hell better than a five-figure salary. Five figures is fine for your average Joe, but to many ambitious women, five figures screams middle class. A successful woman is searching for someone who can treat her to the finer things in life: last-minute weekends in Paris, vacations in Bali and expensive dinners. But it’s not just about the material things. No matter how equal women become to men, when it’s all said and done, money equals power and masculinity. A man who earns a lot of money can more easily take care of his family. And to a lot of us, that is way sexy.At least six feet tall
It almost goes without saying that taller men are more attractive to women. Six feet is a good starting point; it’s sort of like how guys think of a 36C cup size. Height suggests safety and security. We like to feel small and protected in the arms of our guy. A man who’s two inches taller than us is not likely to make us feel sexy or taken care of. More likely we'll feel like we're hanging out with a friend -- and that is not going to get us hot and bothered Pages: 12
Getty Images
"A guy who's flabby? Not so much."<< Previous Page
At least 600 horsepower in his car
All right, a guy doesn’t absolutely need a 600-horsepower car. But he does have to drive a car that’s powerful. A Chevy Aveo isn’t going to cut it. A Mercedes, BMW, Lexus or Bentley is a good pick for the fancier girl. For a more laid-back type, an SUV or Audi would be a good choice. But no matter what, station wagons, hatchbacks, minivans, or small budget cars are out if you want to impress Dream Girl.A six-pack abdomen
A six-pack is just an added bonus, but it’s a big one. Sure, a guy without one can be attractive, but there’s nothing more pleasurable than touching a guy who’s hard as a rock. It makes sex that much more fun. Plus, a guy in shape is more likely to go all night. A guy who’s flabby? Not so much.At least six months since last relationship
This is an important one for anyone, male or female. If a woman is looking for a keeper, she’s looking for someone emotionally available, and that means someone who is well over his last relationship and not looking for a quick fix for his broken heart. There’s nothing worse than knowing you are the rebound girl.At least six inches below the belt
This sixth point of the Six Sixes is likely to be the one that makes guys the most nervous -- or the most confident, depending on where they stand. To be fair, not all women need a guy who’s at least six inches. But those women are generally not highly sexual. For the rest of us, a minimum of six inches is essential if we want to get off. Lest you think this is superficial, think again. It’s a matter of basic physics: A larger penis makes it easier to hit the g-spot, therefore making it easier to orgasm. A wider penis causes more friction, which enhances pleasure. So if you’re not packing down below, make sure you’ve got those oral and fingering skills down pat.The bottom line? The Six Sixes are a way for women to measure her man’s virility. If you’re lacking in one of the above, start making some changes -- or settle for being just average.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Signs She'll Make A Bad Wife
- What You Need To Know
- Certain characteristics are warning signs for a troubled marriage down the road.
- Traits like jealousy and flightiness don't disappear after marriage.
- If she wants you to change now, she will still want to once you're married.
"Contrary to the wisdom of pop songs, love is not enough to make a marriage work. "If you’re thinking of asking your girlfriend to become your wife, there are a few things to consider first. Deciding if you’re ready to make the commitment to marriage is only half the battle. Now you must figure out if the woman in your life is the right one to devote yourself to until death do you part. It’s a complex situation, but there are a few warning signs that your girlfriend is not marriage material. Here's some of the most obvious hints that she’ll make a bad wife.
She’s flighty
A woman who has trouble committing to a job, a friendship or even a hairstyle might not be the best person to swear your undying loyalty to. If she has tried numerous short-lived career paths or is constantly making new friends and dropping the old ones, these may be indications that she’s not the kind of girl who’s in it for the long haul. Settling down simply may not be in the cards for someone so free-spirited and fickle.Even if she sticks around, consider the possibility that her ever-changing lifestyle could derail your own life plan as well. Getting married means combining your lives in nearly every sense. Give some serious thought as to whether or not she will be a good influence on your future.
She’s jealous
If your girlfriend is jealous of every girl who comes near you, putting a ring on her finger is not going to make her more secure. Everyone gets jealous sometimes, but if you find yourself constantly having to reassure her that the other women in your life are not a threat to her, this could spell doom for a long-term commitment. A good wife is not possessive or irrational. As long as you’re not giving her any reason to be suspicious, she should be able to keep the green-eyed monster in check.Her sex drive doesn’t match yours
Sex is an important part of any relationship, and the way you relate to each other physically has a big influence on whether you stay together after you say “I do.” One sign that she might make a bad wife is if her sex drive differs wildly from yours. Whether it’s much higher or much lower than your own, her libido will have a huge effect on your happiness as a married couple. Sex-drive issues can be the result of medical or psychological problems, so problems might come and go, but either way, it’s best to work this out before you walk down the aisle.She doesn’t want your friends around
A girl who disapproves of you hanging out with your friends will become a wife who doesn’t want you to have your own life outside of the marriage. Even if she’s not that fond of your buddies, she shouldn't stand in the way of you spending time with them on your own. Provided your friends aren’t convincing you to rob banks or some other objectionable behavior, she should trust you to make your own decisions about your friends. If she tries to restrict that now, it’ll only get worse after you say your vows.She tries to change you
If your girlfriend is constantly nitpicking about your appearance, your behavior, your personality, your career path, your friends, and your habits, she is essentially telling you that you’re not good enough for her. Everyone can make improvements in their lives, and a good partner should help you become a better man, but if she’s forever on your case about changing one thing or another, she’s going to make a bad wife.You also have to decide whether or not the things she’s asking you to change are reasonable or out of the question. Can you give up your vision of a loft downtown for her desire for a house in the suburbs? What if you’ve always wanted to be a father and she is dead-set against having children? Ask yourself how much you’re willing to give up to please her.
Not marriage material
Contrary to the wisdom of pop songs, love is not enough to make a marriage work. Getting married means sharing your entire life with another person, so you want to make absolutely sure that she is someone you’ll be happy spending time with day in and day out. Keep an eye out for these warning signs that she will make a bad wife and avoid committing to the wrong woman.Tuesday, August 9, 2011
5 Steps For Making Her Fall in Love
At some point in his life, EVERY guy wants to fall
in love.
While it's a lot of fun to date different women
and play the field, there will be a time when you
want to go beyond a casual relationship.
In all likelihood, you'll come to the point where
you want to find that special someone.
So how can you make the woman that you want love
you back?
Well here are 5 simple tips to make this happen...
.
~~> Step #1- Know that love is different then
attraction
The one thing you should always remember is
attracting a woman is MUCH different than getting
her to love you.
In other words, it's easy to show a high status
personality to hook her interest.
But it's a lot harder to get her to develop those
lasting kind of feelings that go beyond simple
sexual attraction.
That's why you should show the REAL you that's
hidden beneath the surface.
With love, you have to show FEELINGS and
reciprocate her nurturing nature.
You should allow her to be attracted to the fun
and alpha side of you, but love the good person
you are deep inside.
.
~~> Step #2- Act like a MAN
Real men don't act in a deceptive and fake
manner.
If you want her to love you, you must be worthy
of this love.
This means avoiding all the games that men and
women play during the courtship period.
A real man is good to the woman he's with and
doesn't do anything to hurt her.
Ultimately her love must be returned through
YOUR actions and words.
So if you're into dating multiple women, don't
tell her she's the ONLY one.
In fact, if don't want to settle down, do
yourself a favor and keep her at an emotional
distance.
It'll only end up hurting her feelings if
you're not looking for a committed
relationship.
On the other hand, if you're secretly harboring
feelings for a certain girl, NOW is the time to
DO something about it.
Here's a site that can show you how:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/
.
~~> Step #3- Make your intentions evident
I'm going to be honest here...
Women like to think long term!
If you've established yourself in a
relationship, then she's probably thought about
what it'll be like with you on a
permanent basis (ie: marriage).
So if this is something you want in your life,
then your actions should reflect this goal.
In essence you have to act in a way that'll
demonstrate a genuine desire to settle down and
possibly marry her.
To do this, you should bring her around your
friends, invite her to important functions in
your life and basically include her in all
aspects of your life.
.
~~> Step #4- Communicate with her
Communication is to key to developing a loving
relationship.
Unfortunately as a gender we're not known for
our communication skills.
However if you're serious about this woman,
you have to be open about the things which
are going on in your life.
This also means taking a genuine interest in
what she's doing and getting to know her an
intimate capacity.
Furthermore, there will be times when the two
of you will get in an argument.
When these moments happen, you have to remember
she is someone you love, and you shouldn't say
anything which you can't take back.
In other words don't intentionally hurt her
feelings.
.
~~> Step #5- Keep things fun and sexual
One of the obstacles in a relationships is
the "friend trap."
This is when you slowly develop into more of
a friendship rather than a relationship.
Finally you must ensure that your relationship
is still fun and exciting as it evolves.
While most women are looking for a special
someone who can share their feelings, you
can't let things get boring and stagnant.
If you're serious about this woman then you
must WORK to keep things fun.
This means still being a fun, interesting guy
and keeping the romance alive.
So go on exciting trips, buy her presents,
and don't be afraid to spice things up in the
bedroom.
Love is the ultimate goal of a serious
relationship.
If you can make her love you then you'll be on
the pathway towards build an incredible future
with the woman of your dreams.
Talk Soon,
KENYAN LAD
in love.
While it's a lot of fun to date different women
and play the field, there will be a time when you
want to go beyond a casual relationship.
In all likelihood, you'll come to the point where
you want to find that special someone.
So how can you make the woman that you want love
you back?
Well here are 5 simple tips to make this happen...
.
~~> Step #1- Know that love is different then
attraction
The one thing you should always remember is
attracting a woman is MUCH different than getting
her to love you.
In other words, it's easy to show a high status
personality to hook her interest.
But it's a lot harder to get her to develop those
lasting kind of feelings that go beyond simple
sexual attraction.
That's why you should show the REAL you that's
hidden beneath the surface.
With love, you have to show FEELINGS and
reciprocate her nurturing nature.
You should allow her to be attracted to the fun
and alpha side of you, but love the good person
you are deep inside.
.
~~> Step #2- Act like a MAN
Real men don't act in a deceptive and fake
manner.
If you want her to love you, you must be worthy
of this love.
This means avoiding all the games that men and
women play during the courtship period.
A real man is good to the woman he's with and
doesn't do anything to hurt her.
Ultimately her love must be returned through
YOUR actions and words.
So if you're into dating multiple women, don't
tell her she's the ONLY one.
In fact, if don't want to settle down, do
yourself a favor and keep her at an emotional
distance.
It'll only end up hurting her feelings if
you're not looking for a committed
relationship.
On the other hand, if you're secretly harboring
feelings for a certain girl, NOW is the time to
DO something about it.
Here's a site that can show you how:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/
.
~~> Step #3- Make your intentions evident
I'm going to be honest here...
Women like to think long term!
If you've established yourself in a
relationship, then she's probably thought about
what it'll be like with you on a
permanent basis (ie: marriage).
So if this is something you want in your life,
then your actions should reflect this goal.
In essence you have to act in a way that'll
demonstrate a genuine desire to settle down and
possibly marry her.
To do this, you should bring her around your
friends, invite her to important functions in
your life and basically include her in all
aspects of your life.
.
~~> Step #4- Communicate with her
Communication is to key to developing a loving
relationship.
Unfortunately as a gender we're not known for
our communication skills.
However if you're serious about this woman,
you have to be open about the things which
are going on in your life.
This also means taking a genuine interest in
what she's doing and getting to know her an
intimate capacity.
Furthermore, there will be times when the two
of you will get in an argument.
When these moments happen, you have to remember
she is someone you love, and you shouldn't say
anything which you can't take back.
In other words don't intentionally hurt her
feelings.
.
~~> Step #5- Keep things fun and sexual
One of the obstacles in a relationships is
the "friend trap."
This is when you slowly develop into more of
a friendship rather than a relationship.
Finally you must ensure that your relationship
is still fun and exciting as it evolves.
While most women are looking for a special
someone who can share their feelings, you
can't let things get boring and stagnant.
If you're serious about this woman then you
must WORK to keep things fun.
This means still being a fun, interesting guy
and keeping the romance alive.
So go on exciting trips, buy her presents,
and don't be afraid to spice things up in the
bedroom.
Love is the ultimate goal of a serious
relationship.
If you can make her love you then you'll be on
the pathway towards build an incredible future
with the woman of your dreams.
Talk Soon,
KENYAN LAD
Thursday, August 4, 2011
How to Become More Charismatic to Women
Let me ask you a question...
Do you want to be more charismatic to women?
Hopefully you answered YES!
The truth is charisma is one of those traits that
can have a HUGE impact on your success with women.
As you've probably noticed, there are some men
who can create attraction with just a few words
and a quick look.
Even if they're average looking, these guys now
the secret to establishing an instant connection.
The question is can you LEARN to be more
charismatic?
Fortunately the answer is yes. But it requires
that you develop a couple of habits.
Here are five ways you can do it:
1- Accept that it can be learned
Before you change things up, you must first accept
that charisma is something which you CAN learn.
If you REALLY don't think it'll work, then you'll
probably fail.
Just understand that charisma is something that
can developed no matter what you're like.
Think about all those famous actors and celebrities.
Many didn't start out as being charismatic.
They have to be coached and trained to improve their
voice, body language and acting.
The end result they were able to transform themselves
into a charismatic person.
.
2- Find your own style
Another way to be charismatic is to learn how to
become your own person.
While it's important to model guys who show a
natural ability, you should learn how to be your
own person and find your own style.
For instance, if you're a naturally quiet person,
then you should develop a calm, confident and
charismatic personality.
Having an attitude like this helps when you're
dealing with one-on-one interactions.
This will be much easier than trying to transform
into a loud and outgoing person,
.
3- Show charismatic body language
Body language is a critical element to becoming
more attractive.
That's why I recommend you take a look at this site:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/
A suave person is a guy who can show charisma with
just his presence.
For instance, he has exemplifies many qualities
through his non-verbal communication like:
** Confidence
** A relaxed pose
** Good posture
** A positive expression with a smile
.
4- Be congruent
In order to be charismatic, your words and actions
must match your overall demeanor.
In other words, you need to be congruent throughout
your entire lifestyle.
So instead of trying to "fake it till you make it",
you should work on the things that are holding you
back.
By eliminating your sticking points and become truly
confident in every situation, you'll develop this
magnetic personality trait.
.
5- Be authoritative
When you're talking to a woman, don't be afraid to
show a confidence in your words or actions.
By speaking about topics like an authority, you'll
impress women with your confidence.
So no matter what you say, remember to show
confidence.
In other words, if you act nervous around women,
you won't be showing charisma.
As you can see...Charisma is something that CAN be
learned.
If you take the time to develop these 5 basic traits,
you'll be on your way towards being a charismatic
guy.
Finally, charisma goes hand-in-hand with your basic
*look*.
This is another area where guys struggle.
Frankly, many men display an unappealing look, which
generally repulses women.
The good news is there's something that can help.
Go to this site to learn a few simple ways for
becoming MORE handsome around women:
talk soon
MARTIN MURITHI
Do you want to be more charismatic to women?
Hopefully you answered YES!
The truth is charisma is one of those traits that
can have a HUGE impact on your success with women.
As you've probably noticed, there are some men
who can create attraction with just a few words
and a quick look.
Even if they're average looking, these guys now
the secret to establishing an instant connection.
The question is can you LEARN to be more
charismatic?
Fortunately the answer is yes. But it requires
that you develop a couple of habits.
Here are five ways you can do it:
1- Accept that it can be learned
Before you change things up, you must first accept
that charisma is something which you CAN learn.
If you REALLY don't think it'll work, then you'll
probably fail.
Just understand that charisma is something that
can developed no matter what you're like.
Think about all those famous actors and celebrities.
Many didn't start out as being charismatic.
They have to be coached and trained to improve their
voice, body language and acting.
The end result they were able to transform themselves
into a charismatic person.
.
2- Find your own style
Another way to be charismatic is to learn how to
become your own person.
While it's important to model guys who show a
natural ability, you should learn how to be your
own person and find your own style.
For instance, if you're a naturally quiet person,
then you should develop a calm, confident and
charismatic personality.
Having an attitude like this helps when you're
dealing with one-on-one interactions.
This will be much easier than trying to transform
into a loud and outgoing person,
.
3- Show charismatic body language
Body language is a critical element to becoming
more attractive.
That's why I recommend you take a look at this site:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/
A suave person is a guy who can show charisma with
just his presence.
For instance, he has exemplifies many qualities
through his non-verbal communication like:
** Confidence
** A relaxed pose
** Good posture
** A positive expression with a smile
.
4- Be congruent
In order to be charismatic, your words and actions
must match your overall demeanor.
In other words, you need to be congruent throughout
your entire lifestyle.
So instead of trying to "fake it till you make it",
you should work on the things that are holding you
back.
By eliminating your sticking points and become truly
confident in every situation, you'll develop this
magnetic personality trait.
.
5- Be authoritative
When you're talking to a woman, don't be afraid to
show a confidence in your words or actions.
By speaking about topics like an authority, you'll
impress women with your confidence.
So no matter what you say, remember to show
confidence.
In other words, if you act nervous around women,
you won't be showing charisma.
As you can see...Charisma is something that CAN be
learned.
If you take the time to develop these 5 basic traits,
you'll be on your way towards being a charismatic
guy.
Finally, charisma goes hand-in-hand with your basic
*look*.
This is another area where guys struggle.
Frankly, many men display an unappealing look, which
generally repulses women.
The good news is there's something that can help.
Go to this site to learn a few simple ways for
becoming MORE handsome around women:
talk soon
MARTIN MURITHI
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