hello readers, i gotta say this week has had ups and downs, cold nights and unpredictable weather.
EDUCATION VS. KNOWLEDGE. i have been doing alot of thinking this recently, first, is education the best investment? well, i got indulge some of my learned friends and colleagues. the debates were very informative and full of drama even more than parliament arguing over stupid scandals. i came to a conclusion that education isn't the best investment but know is! university or a degree doesn't educate someone on how to survive in such economies and generation. one has to deal with frequent inflation, insecurity, government officials asking for bribes, competition and less demand of products and services. real life teachers you how to cope with such pressures and emerging trends. i believe knowledge is the best investment one can make. knowledge can be learned practically and theoritically and put into deserving use. always choose wise the path you take in life using knowledge as a background although education helps you control your destiny too. education is important too.
SUGAR. i am a kenyan and one thing i hate doing at the moment is shopping. inflation and scarcity of essential commodities had rockets their prices to new heights. sugar is damn expensive and i blame it on the goverment. our government for the last one year has been making and implementing bad policies without doing its research well. they blocked the importation of duty free sugar thus causing chaos in the market. their arguement is that we need to support local sugar manufacturers who cant even supply the demand. do something parliament before you kill some of us.
SEX. their is a new trend thats going around that people prefer having casual sex and avoiding relationships. they say that rships have alot of pressure and hustles and pockets/bank accounts get hurt in the process. i kinda agree with these sentiments but am also a firm believer in true love. their is that one special person for you out their. courting a lady has become expensive and most of us have no jobs/source of income to facilitate courtship. no wonder married men are giving us a hard time with our young ladies who prefer not to work, live lavishly and get their degrees with hustles. they think when the time comes for marriage they will find us here waiting for them but they are mistaken, most of us will also date the younger ladies. what goes around comes around dear ladies. young guys are trying really hard to live up to the expectations but they need encouragement and support which is rare. i guess we have to embrace the new trend of having sex without strings attached then.
SOCIAL NETWORKS. they are apart of our lives and we must embrace them though to much of everything is dangerous. be careful who you meet and who you open up to, afterall big brother is recording.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
5 Financial Mistakes That Ruin Your Marriage
There is always some truth in a joke and looking back on this saying as an adult, it is obvious that he was steering me toward what he hoped was a happy life rather than a life of what he perceived would be a struggle. He is old fashioned and didn't think that a girl could create her own financial security (that is fodder for another blog) but his intentions were good.
Money and marriage is an age old problem. However, during good or bad economic times some things never change — couples are still fighting about money. In many cases, they are the very same things couples were fighting about 25 years ago. According to research as well as my own experience working with couples and money, here are the top five money conflicts that lead to marital strife and ultimately divorce.
Materialism — valuing "things" or money over the relationship. Research on marriage has shown that couples who are materialistic rate at the bottom of the happiness scale. A recent study by BYU and William Jefferson University found that spouses who were BOTH materialistic were worse off on nearly every relationship measure they looked at. It wasn't the lack of money that was the culprit; the authors found that it was materialism itself that created much of the difficulty even when couples had plenty of money.
I saw this firsthand with a former client of mine named Yolanda who unknowingly fell into the materialism trap and nearly destroyed her marriage because of it. She is a first generation American with immigrant parents from Guatemala. She had a misguided notion in her head that if she had a beautiful home nicely decorated with a formal dining room and a landscaped yard for her family to live in then she would be happy. It was almost as if she had a picture of the American Dream and she had to step into that picture and become that person to be happy.
She insisted her husband buy a home they could barely afford along with Ethan Allen furniture and a landscaped backyard — going into debt to do it. This may not seem like materialism because we are not talking diamonds and furs here. We are talking about a dining room table but none-the-less, her focus was on accumulating things instead of on her marriage and family. Fortunately for her, this story doesn't end tragically. When her mother passed away, something triggered in her that completely changed her outlook on her values. She got a much needed wake-up call about what was really important in life before it was too late.
Having conflicting money values. Now I don't know about you but if I was married to someone who gambled away money I'd have a really hard time with that. I see gambling as foolish (unless you are good enough to get into the World Series of Poker.) Foolishly spending money is the number one financial cause for divorce. According to Jeffrey Dew's paper titled Bank on it: Thrifty Couples are the Happiest, when a spouse feels the other spends their money foolishly, it increases the likelihood of divorce by 45%. What caught my attention in the report was the word "feeling." The researchers tell us that perceptions of how well one's spouse handles money play a role in shaping the quality and stability of family life in the U.S.
It isn't just about gambling either. A former client of mine, I'll call her Sandy, was married to someone who was incredibly frugal. Her husband used to check what she paid for groceries and compare them to the weekly ads to see if she got the best price. He actually would be angry and chastise Sandy because she paid too much for a block of cheese saying, "You could have gotten this cheaper at Safeway." He actually wanted her to go to two different stores to shop (even though she worked full time and they had two little boys.) Their marriage ended in divorce and not because she was a gambler by any means but because he perceived her spending as foolish.
The answer here is for couples to come together and decide on how to spend their money. Coming up with jointly held values obviously involves some give and take. If you like to buy lottery tickets, which your spouse sees as frivolous but you feel, "you can't win if you don't play," then jointly decide on a spending limit that you can agree on.
Adopting traditional roles when they don't fit. The commonly held belief that men should handle the financial planning and investments in the family and the women should take care of the day-to-day finances may not fit every couple. In fact, in my household, my husband manages the cash flow — he can be very detail oriented, which is painfully obvious when he is talking baseball with his buddies. It is amazing to me that he knows the batting average of players who retired 5 years ago! He is much better with our cash flow and I am more suited for our strategic financial planning. This is not simply because I have a financial background, but studies on the human brain have shown women to be hard wired to multi-task and those skills cross over to strategic planning. In our case, we switched roles and it works beautifully.
The key is to find the right person for the right role based on aptitude not gender.
Having opposing money styles. It is not uncommon to see financial opposites attract one another. Couples often have mismatched money styles — one is a spender while the other is a saver. Instead of having them work against each other, causing fights and tension, successful couples don't try to change each other. They adapt their money styles to work for both of them. In a previous blog, I mentioned how a newlywed couple set up a plan that made the most of their opposite tendencies. Paula loves her husband's sense of adventure and fun but on the flip-side he spends every dime he has doing it. He loves her stability and discipline since it balances his free and relaxed nature but he is always asking her for money and wanting to tap into her savings. There is tension and resentment on each side.
We came up with a plan that takes their natural money styles into account so they can work together toward common goals and they both contribute financially. The plan is — the spender spends and the saver saves. He is in charge of the short term emergency savings and unexpected expenses that come up. He doesn't feel concerned when he has to tap into the emergency fund and since he is saving monthly, it gets replenished regularly with automatic transfers from checking to savings. She is in charge of long term goals — retirement, saving for a down payment for a house and saving for annual vacations. She hates to part with their hard earned savings so she is best suited for the big goals that take more discipline in achieving.
The key here is instead of judging each other and essentially working against each other, row in the same direction.
Magical thinking — getting results without a plan. One of the most undervalued yet important reasons to work with a financial planner is to force couples to develop a plan together and, at minimum, review it annually. Some people have some of the individual pieces of their finances in order but having a plan puts the pieces together. Couples who don't have a plan don't have a chance of meeting their goals.
The do-it-yourselfer can do the same thing, of course, but it takes a little more discipline. Either way, developing a financial plan gets couples moving in the same direction toward goals they have developed together. Over the course of my 25 years as a financial planner, I've seen a significant difference with couples meeting their goals — being able to retire, touring Europe, investing in vacation properties, etc because they planned, reviewed their plans annually and worked as a team.
Couples who improve their attitudes about money and their communication can truly have it all. Since finances are the biggest cause of stress (a 2010 APA study found that 76% of Americans see money as a source of stress in their lives) and stress is a major cause of disease, improving financial literacy also has the added benefit of improving your health. Keeping your values in the right place and improving finances can actually bring health, wealth and happiness. What more can we ask for?
Materialism — valuing "things" or money over the relationship. Research on marriage has shown that couples who are materialistic rate at the bottom of the happiness scale. A recent study by BYU and William Jefferson University found that spouses who were BOTH materialistic were worse off on nearly every relationship measure they looked at. It wasn't the lack of money that was the culprit; the authors found that it was materialism itself that created much of the difficulty even when couples had plenty of money.
I saw this firsthand with a former client of mine named Yolanda who unknowingly fell into the materialism trap and nearly destroyed her marriage because of it. She is a first generation American with immigrant parents from Guatemala. She had a misguided notion in her head that if she had a beautiful home nicely decorated with a formal dining room and a landscaped yard for her family to live in then she would be happy. It was almost as if she had a picture of the American Dream and she had to step into that picture and become that person to be happy.
She insisted her husband buy a home they could barely afford along with Ethan Allen furniture and a landscaped backyard — going into debt to do it. This may not seem like materialism because we are not talking diamonds and furs here. We are talking about a dining room table but none-the-less, her focus was on accumulating things instead of on her marriage and family. Fortunately for her, this story doesn't end tragically. When her mother passed away, something triggered in her that completely changed her outlook on her values. She got a much needed wake-up call about what was really important in life before it was too late.
Having conflicting money values. Now I don't know about you but if I was married to someone who gambled away money I'd have a really hard time with that. I see gambling as foolish (unless you are good enough to get into the World Series of Poker.) Foolishly spending money is the number one financial cause for divorce. According to Jeffrey Dew's paper titled Bank on it: Thrifty Couples are the Happiest, when a spouse feels the other spends their money foolishly, it increases the likelihood of divorce by 45%. What caught my attention in the report was the word "feeling." The researchers tell us that perceptions of how well one's spouse handles money play a role in shaping the quality and stability of family life in the U.S.
It isn't just about gambling either. A former client of mine, I'll call her Sandy, was married to someone who was incredibly frugal. Her husband used to check what she paid for groceries and compare them to the weekly ads to see if she got the best price. He actually would be angry and chastise Sandy because she paid too much for a block of cheese saying, "You could have gotten this cheaper at Safeway." He actually wanted her to go to two different stores to shop (even though she worked full time and they had two little boys.) Their marriage ended in divorce and not because she was a gambler by any means but because he perceived her spending as foolish.
The answer here is for couples to come together and decide on how to spend their money. Coming up with jointly held values obviously involves some give and take. If you like to buy lottery tickets, which your spouse sees as frivolous but you feel, "you can't win if you don't play," then jointly decide on a spending limit that you can agree on.
Adopting traditional roles when they don't fit. The commonly held belief that men should handle the financial planning and investments in the family and the women should take care of the day-to-day finances may not fit every couple. In fact, in my household, my husband manages the cash flow — he can be very detail oriented, which is painfully obvious when he is talking baseball with his buddies. It is amazing to me that he knows the batting average of players who retired 5 years ago! He is much better with our cash flow and I am more suited for our strategic financial planning. This is not simply because I have a financial background, but studies on the human brain have shown women to be hard wired to multi-task and those skills cross over to strategic planning. In our case, we switched roles and it works beautifully.
The key is to find the right person for the right role based on aptitude not gender.
Having opposing money styles. It is not uncommon to see financial opposites attract one another. Couples often have mismatched money styles — one is a spender while the other is a saver. Instead of having them work against each other, causing fights and tension, successful couples don't try to change each other. They adapt their money styles to work for both of them. In a previous blog, I mentioned how a newlywed couple set up a plan that made the most of their opposite tendencies. Paula loves her husband's sense of adventure and fun but on the flip-side he spends every dime he has doing it. He loves her stability and discipline since it balances his free and relaxed nature but he is always asking her for money and wanting to tap into her savings. There is tension and resentment on each side.
We came up with a plan that takes their natural money styles into account so they can work together toward common goals and they both contribute financially. The plan is — the spender spends and the saver saves. He is in charge of the short term emergency savings and unexpected expenses that come up. He doesn't feel concerned when he has to tap into the emergency fund and since he is saving monthly, it gets replenished regularly with automatic transfers from checking to savings. She is in charge of long term goals — retirement, saving for a down payment for a house and saving for annual vacations. She hates to part with their hard earned savings so she is best suited for the big goals that take more discipline in achieving.
The key here is instead of judging each other and essentially working against each other, row in the same direction.
Magical thinking — getting results without a plan. One of the most undervalued yet important reasons to work with a financial planner is to force couples to develop a plan together and, at minimum, review it annually. Some people have some of the individual pieces of their finances in order but having a plan puts the pieces together. Couples who don't have a plan don't have a chance of meeting their goals.
The do-it-yourselfer can do the same thing, of course, but it takes a little more discipline. Either way, developing a financial plan gets couples moving in the same direction toward goals they have developed together. Over the course of my 25 years as a financial planner, I've seen a significant difference with couples meeting their goals — being able to retire, touring Europe, investing in vacation properties, etc because they planned, reviewed their plans annually and worked as a team.
Couples who improve their attitudes about money and their communication can truly have it all. Since finances are the biggest cause of stress (a 2010 APA study found that 76% of Americans see money as a source of stress in their lives) and stress is a major cause of disease, improving financial literacy also has the added benefit of improving your health. Keeping your values in the right place and improving finances can actually bring health, wealth and happiness. What more can we ask for?
Sunday, November 13, 2011
6 Ways to FOREVER Banish the "Let's Just be Friends" Speech
So what is the answer to one of the most commonly
asked question in dating ever since the beginning
of time:
How do I turn a friend in to a lover?
Simple.
It's all a matter of know when when and how to
play your cards right with your target of choice.
These are my 6-steps to get you out of the friend
zone and get women sexually interested in you...
.
1. Limit your availability.
I'm willing to bet that whenever this girl does
call you, you eagerly answer the phone and chat
with her for as long as she wants.
You THINK that when you spend two hours on the
phone with her, sharing your life stories and
telling her about the girl who broke your heart
when you were in the tenth grade, you're building
some kind of deep "connection" with her.
But what you're actually doing is removing ANY
sense of mystery about yourself, and letting her
know that you have nothing else going in your l
ife... and no other women.
This is massively UN-attractive to her.
(I know that when you're a man who is struggling
with his dating life, and haven't hooked up with
a chick in a while, this takes a LOT of
discipline.
Your instinct is to make yourself totally
available to her and try to spend as much time
as possible with her. Well, go ahead and keep
doing it this way, if you want to keep wondering
why women keep placing you in the friend zone...)
.
2. Until you've slept with a woman, limit your
phone chats with her to five minutes.
And don't get caught up in constant text-messaging.
Give her the sense that you're a busy man with
places to be.
Use these short phone calls, or text exchanges,
to lock down your plans to see her again.
Save the deep conversations for when you are
actually spending time with her.
.
3. Women are moody and emotional.
Get used to it, and know how to deal with it.
When she start acting weird or distant, she is
testing you.
She wants to see how you will respond.
Do you kiss her ass and ask her "what's wrong?"
Do you get frustrated and angered by her
behavior?
(Either of these responses will only make her
get more moody!)
Or, do you behave like a firm, direct MAN?
(Tell her, "Well, I can tell you've got some
things on your mind right now, so why don't you
take some time to sort it out and get back to
me.
I've got some things I need to handle right
now.")
.
4. Her ex-boyfriend is irrelevant.
Women commonly use the excuse:
"I got out of a bad relationship recently, I
don't know if I'm ready for someone new, I
don't want to get hurt again," etc.
It's all crap, basically.
The truth is, if she met a confident,
attractive man RIGHT NOW who made her feel a
sexual connection, she'd forget about her
ex-boyfriend in about 2.3 seconds.
When she talks about her ex, and how she's
"not ready," what she really means is that
you're not making her feel attraction, and
so she's testing you to see what kind of man
you are.
You need to put her in a positive, fun state
of mind and keep her there. When she thinks
of you, she should think of fun times and
feeling good about herself.
The last thing you want to do is allow her
to dwell on her ex-boyfriend and be her
"shoulder to cry on."
If she ever mentions him, change the
subject.
And never refer to him by name because it
only aggravates her emotional state.
(Instead, refer to him as "that guy." Make
him seem irrelevant and insignificant.)
HER: "I guess I'm just in a bad mood today
because it would have been my third
anniversary with my ex, John..."
YOU: "Well it sounds like that guy didn't
appreciate you the way he should have, and
it's his loss.
I'm just glad we're getting to
know each other, because I can tell there's
a lot more to you than meets the eye.
So tell me more about ________"
(Change the subject onto something that gets
her in a positive, talkative mood).
.
5. Never confess your attraction to her.
Women interpret this as a sign of weakness.
You've been taught by the media that woman
want a soft, sensitive guy who isn't afraid to
confess his feelings.
Actually, the opposite is true.
She needs to know you are a strong, emotionally
secure and confident MAN.
Once you've got a sexual relationship going
with her, and she's bonded to you, feel free to
be a sweet, loving boyfriend and do all of the
romantic things that drive her wild.
But until then, you've got to play it cool.
.
6. Finally, be willing to "man up" and walk away.
If for whatever reason she just can't sort out
her feelings, cut her loose.
Trust me, if you were involved with two or three
OTHER women right now, you wouldn't have the
time or the interest to play games with some
chick who can't make up her mind.
When you have multiple options, you will ALWAYS
feel confident and in control.
Don't make the mistake that most guys make, and
place "all of your eggs in one basket."
This is also one of the biggest mistakes guys make
when they want to turn a friend into something more.
They focus too much on that one girl.
Once a woman has mentally placed you in "The
Friend Zone," it's difficult to change her
feelings towards you.
Ideally, you never want to her to view you as
her platonic, non-sexual "buddy" in the first
place.
This is why when you do meet up with women for a
date, you've got to take things in a sexual
direction.
This doesn't mean you have to sleep with women
on the first date.
But you MUST establish some physical contact and
make her feel that you're a sexual possibility
for her.
That's the difference between guys who always
suffer in the "Friend Zone," and guys who GET IT
DONE.
If you're constantly pulling your hair out trying
to figure out how to get that ONE SPECIAL GIRL
you've always fantasized about (but she ONLY
treats you as a friend/brother and NOTHING else),
go to this site to learn how to CHANGE HER MIND
and turn the tables IMMEDIATELY:
asked question in dating ever since the beginning
of time:
How do I turn a friend in to a lover?
Simple.
It's all a matter of know when when and how to
play your cards right with your target of choice.
These are my 6-steps to get you out of the friend
zone and get women sexually interested in you...
.
1. Limit your availability.
I'm willing to bet that whenever this girl does
call you, you eagerly answer the phone and chat
with her for as long as she wants.
You THINK that when you spend two hours on the
phone with her, sharing your life stories and
telling her about the girl who broke your heart
when you were in the tenth grade, you're building
some kind of deep "connection" with her.
But what you're actually doing is removing ANY
sense of mystery about yourself, and letting her
know that you have nothing else going in your l
ife... and no other women.
This is massively UN-attractive to her.
(I know that when you're a man who is struggling
with his dating life, and haven't hooked up with
a chick in a while, this takes a LOT of
discipline.
Your instinct is to make yourself totally
available to her and try to spend as much time
as possible with her. Well, go ahead and keep
doing it this way, if you want to keep wondering
why women keep placing you in the friend zone...)
.
2. Until you've slept with a woman, limit your
phone chats with her to five minutes.
And don't get caught up in constant text-messaging.
Give her the sense that you're a busy man with
places to be.
Use these short phone calls, or text exchanges,
to lock down your plans to see her again.
Save the deep conversations for when you are
actually spending time with her.
.
3. Women are moody and emotional.
Get used to it, and know how to deal with it.
When she start acting weird or distant, she is
testing you.
She wants to see how you will respond.
Do you kiss her ass and ask her "what's wrong?"
Do you get frustrated and angered by her
behavior?
(Either of these responses will only make her
get more moody!)
Or, do you behave like a firm, direct MAN?
(Tell her, "Well, I can tell you've got some
things on your mind right now, so why don't you
take some time to sort it out and get back to
me.
I've got some things I need to handle right
now.")
.
4. Her ex-boyfriend is irrelevant.
Women commonly use the excuse:
"I got out of a bad relationship recently, I
don't know if I'm ready for someone new, I
don't want to get hurt again," etc.
It's all crap, basically.
The truth is, if she met a confident,
attractive man RIGHT NOW who made her feel a
sexual connection, she'd forget about her
ex-boyfriend in about 2.3 seconds.
When she talks about her ex, and how she's
"not ready," what she really means is that
you're not making her feel attraction, and
so she's testing you to see what kind of man
you are.
You need to put her in a positive, fun state
of mind and keep her there. When she thinks
of you, she should think of fun times and
feeling good about herself.
The last thing you want to do is allow her
to dwell on her ex-boyfriend and be her
"shoulder to cry on."
If she ever mentions him, change the
subject.
And never refer to him by name because it
only aggravates her emotional state.
(Instead, refer to him as "that guy." Make
him seem irrelevant and insignificant.)
HER: "I guess I'm just in a bad mood today
because it would have been my third
anniversary with my ex, John..."
YOU: "Well it sounds like that guy didn't
appreciate you the way he should have, and
it's his loss.
I'm just glad we're getting to
know each other, because I can tell there's
a lot more to you than meets the eye.
So tell me more about ________"
(Change the subject onto something that gets
her in a positive, talkative mood).
.
5. Never confess your attraction to her.
Women interpret this as a sign of weakness.
You've been taught by the media that woman
want a soft, sensitive guy who isn't afraid to
confess his feelings.
Actually, the opposite is true.
She needs to know you are a strong, emotionally
secure and confident MAN.
Once you've got a sexual relationship going
with her, and she's bonded to you, feel free to
be a sweet, loving boyfriend and do all of the
romantic things that drive her wild.
But until then, you've got to play it cool.
.
6. Finally, be willing to "man up" and walk away.
If for whatever reason she just can't sort out
her feelings, cut her loose.
Trust me, if you were involved with two or three
OTHER women right now, you wouldn't have the
time or the interest to play games with some
chick who can't make up her mind.
When you have multiple options, you will ALWAYS
feel confident and in control.
Don't make the mistake that most guys make, and
place "all of your eggs in one basket."
This is also one of the biggest mistakes guys make
when they want to turn a friend into something more.
They focus too much on that one girl.
Once a woman has mentally placed you in "The
Friend Zone," it's difficult to change her
feelings towards you.
Ideally, you never want to her to view you as
her platonic, non-sexual "buddy" in the first
place.
This is why when you do meet up with women for a
date, you've got to take things in a sexual
direction.
This doesn't mean you have to sleep with women
on the first date.
But you MUST establish some physical contact and
make her feel that you're a sexual possibility
for her.
That's the difference between guys who always
suffer in the "Friend Zone," and guys who GET IT
DONE.
If you're constantly pulling your hair out trying
to figure out how to get that ONE SPECIAL GIRL
you've always fantasized about (but she ONLY
treats you as a friend/brother and NOTHING else),
go to this site to learn how to CHANGE HER MIND
and turn the tables IMMEDIATELY:
Saturday, November 12, 2011
BITTER SWEET THOUGHTS
whoever said, "the world evolves around money" knwe what they were saying. YES, I AM BROKE sitted after working hours on a saturday blogging. am just browsing and tweeting and all i can see is people telling the world how much fun they are having and am wondering if am still in planet earth. Well, when will i ever have money is a question i might never answer. onr thing is i know is that i will move mountains with money if i ever get it.
the sky is always the limit but money facilitates that, with money comes confidence, respect, honour, power, control and one gets to know their true potential. i dont believe in the saying that "more money more problems" because with money i can solve very many problems. Am yet to hear of a billionaire who hates and regrets being rich.
now to more simpler issues, 1. how the hell do i get a girlfriend in the city of the sun? money is a requirement although most ladies will argue that am mistaken. i have been around the block to know what am writing. ladies have become so materialistic nowadays, i had a chat with a friend and she argued that a lady must look good and its a man's responsibility to make sure of that. how the hell can a man do so if he doesnt have a source of income or extra money to do so. i think ladies are ot being realistic and just wonna live the easy life. well, their are plenty of men out their with money but i doubt they are looking to love and appreciate you all the time with giving them something in return. no wonder married men are giving young guys competition when it comes to this young beautiful ladies. the old days are gone when a lady would go crazy for a guy who loves her unconditionally no matter his achievements or short comings. no wonder no man feels like treat a lady like royalty all the time. i also feel pity for my age mates because in the next 5-7 years they will be lonly with men to love and adore them. personally i know what in a woman and cant seem to find it and am guessing i wont in the future.
most young men prefer older women not for money but for free drama life they have, older women have class and know what it takes to keep a man around. commitment and sacrifice is what these young ladies lack. i know most guys have girlfriends but how long does the relationship last nowadays, everyone wants what they dont have and its killing love and bliss.
i always say that the woman i get to marry will be lucky because i will love her with all my heart. love is kind, passion, romance, support, struggling together, discovering the world together, sleeping and waking up together etc. i look up to my aunts and their hubbies because of how they hold their families together.
UNTIL THAT DAY COMES WHEN I GET HER, i will be patient and blog alot about love....bla bla bla bla bla.......
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND PALS
the sky is always the limit but money facilitates that, with money comes confidence, respect, honour, power, control and one gets to know their true potential. i dont believe in the saying that "more money more problems" because with money i can solve very many problems. Am yet to hear of a billionaire who hates and regrets being rich.
now to more simpler issues, 1. how the hell do i get a girlfriend in the city of the sun? money is a requirement although most ladies will argue that am mistaken. i have been around the block to know what am writing. ladies have become so materialistic nowadays, i had a chat with a friend and she argued that a lady must look good and its a man's responsibility to make sure of that. how the hell can a man do so if he doesnt have a source of income or extra money to do so. i think ladies are ot being realistic and just wonna live the easy life. well, their are plenty of men out their with money but i doubt they are looking to love and appreciate you all the time with giving them something in return. no wonder married men are giving young guys competition when it comes to this young beautiful ladies. the old days are gone when a lady would go crazy for a guy who loves her unconditionally no matter his achievements or short comings. no wonder no man feels like treat a lady like royalty all the time. i also feel pity for my age mates because in the next 5-7 years they will be lonly with men to love and adore them. personally i know what in a woman and cant seem to find it and am guessing i wont in the future.
most young men prefer older women not for money but for free drama life they have, older women have class and know what it takes to keep a man around. commitment and sacrifice is what these young ladies lack. i know most guys have girlfriends but how long does the relationship last nowadays, everyone wants what they dont have and its killing love and bliss.
i always say that the woman i get to marry will be lucky because i will love her with all my heart. love is kind, passion, romance, support, struggling together, discovering the world together, sleeping and waking up together etc. i look up to my aunts and their hubbies because of how they hold their families together.
UNTIL THAT DAY COMES WHEN I GET HER, i will be patient and blog alot about love....bla bla bla bla bla.......
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND PALS
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
A LADY
am 23 years old but with being so young, one thing i understand and know is women.i can blog a million words about a woman with putting fullstops and comas. Here is what i think a woman is;
1. a lady needs security- i dont mean the physical one but the security of knowing everything will be atleast ok. she needs someone to hold her hand in thick and thin. well if you are a man who doesn't fit here then prep yourself for a heartbreak.
2. a lady needs maturity- a woman loves attention and if her man is the same then alot of drama will be the order of the day. a lady needs a mature man who she can rely on for advice, help and fulfillment of emotional and physical needs.
3. a lady needs to feel like a queen all the time- i really don't need to explain this one but just know that the small things in life matter the most to her. helping out with the dishes, baby, relatives and helping her understand herself every minute of the day. eg. if you take her for dinner, then you get to watch her choose something exotic from the menu and watch her sample it. if she likes it then its a win for you.
4. a lady needs to be adored and appreciated- a woman can be compared to a lambo, you need to adore and appreciate her every day and thats where number 2 and 3 also come in.
5. a lady needs love- as a man you needs to make sure your woman gets love from the society, both sides of the family and your own family. love makes her happy and when she is happy everyone is happy.
6.a lady needs space and freedom- men have one for the road with the guys and so does a lady with her girlfriend. lets her enjoy her time alone sometimes. she gets to catch up with others and to also miss you.
7.a lady needs child- people may think this isn't important but it is. she needs to feel whole and not cursed. just like men need baby boys.
8.a lady needs GOD-with God, a lady gets to mould her and the family's identity.
9.a lady needs understanding- you have to be patient, caring and listen to her. they talk and quarell alot. hehehehe
10.a lady needs submission too- dear men, take time off from being the boss sometimes and let her be in charge. she gets to enjoy torturing and toying with you.
KENYAN LAD
1. a lady needs security- i dont mean the physical one but the security of knowing everything will be atleast ok. she needs someone to hold her hand in thick and thin. well if you are a man who doesn't fit here then prep yourself for a heartbreak.
2. a lady needs maturity- a woman loves attention and if her man is the same then alot of drama will be the order of the day. a lady needs a mature man who she can rely on for advice, help and fulfillment of emotional and physical needs.
3. a lady needs to feel like a queen all the time- i really don't need to explain this one but just know that the small things in life matter the most to her. helping out with the dishes, baby, relatives and helping her understand herself every minute of the day. eg. if you take her for dinner, then you get to watch her choose something exotic from the menu and watch her sample it. if she likes it then its a win for you.
4. a lady needs to be adored and appreciated- a woman can be compared to a lambo, you need to adore and appreciate her every day and thats where number 2 and 3 also come in.
5. a lady needs love- as a man you needs to make sure your woman gets love from the society, both sides of the family and your own family. love makes her happy and when she is happy everyone is happy.
6.a lady needs space and freedom- men have one for the road with the guys and so does a lady with her girlfriend. lets her enjoy her time alone sometimes. she gets to catch up with others and to also miss you.
7.a lady needs child- people may think this isn't important but it is. she needs to feel whole and not cursed. just like men need baby boys.
8.a lady needs GOD-with God, a lady gets to mould her and the family's identity.
9.a lady needs understanding- you have to be patient, caring and listen to her. they talk and quarell alot. hehehehe
10.a lady needs submission too- dear men, take time off from being the boss sometimes and let her be in charge. she gets to enjoy torturing and toying with you.
KENYAN LAD
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